Parenting
As my oldest son wraps up another day of online learning, it’s evident that he’s not a fan of school. He finds hours spent in a classroom unbearable and prefers being active, whether that means hitting the gym or engaging in hands-on work. For the past few years, he’s been working as a plumber’s assistant, often juggling two jobs at once—all by his own choice.
With his senior year approaching, my son has made it clear that he has no plans to pursue college, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier for him. While I would have supported a college or vocational path if that’s what he wanted, my husband and I initiated our savings and planning for college with the assumption that our children would naturally desire that route, just as we did.
However, parenting has taught me to abandon those assumptions. As our kids reach their teenage years, it becomes essential to let go of expectations unless you want to engage in a constant uphill battle. I could pressure my son to pursue a college education, attempting to shape his future according to my beliefs. Instead, I’ve chosen to support his decision, which allows us both to relish the advantages of skipping college.
No more worrying about mountains of paperwork, college essays, or the financial burdens associated with a higher education. It’s not just the potential debt we’d incur (which is significant), but also trying to navigate the dizzying array of loans, financial aid, scholarships, and grants. He won’t have to add college applications to his already busy life. Of course, I’d be there to assist him if he needed it, reminding him that time was of the essence if he wanted to go the traditional route. But since that’s not the case, I’m ready to embrace the freedom this decision brings.
My son has already researched his options and is set on entering the plumbing trade, knowing he can graduate high school and start his career without the burden of debt. This is a clear path for him—he has a plan. Contrary to some concerns, he is not going to graduate and move back into my basement. He is determined, with a clear vision of his future. I can’t say I had that kind of clarity at his age; I simply followed the crowd and hoped things would align.
Importantly, we both recognize that he has the option to attend college later if he decides to change his course. Just because he’s not enrolling straight out of high school doesn’t mean he’s forfeiting that opportunity.
The beauty of giving him the space to make this decision on his own is that he owns it entirely. He won’t look back and feel that his parents pressured him into something he didn’t want. I refuse to live with that kind of regret. What I can accept is his independence and the knowledge that he is empowered to make choices that feel right for him.
We all have our hopes and dreams for our children. I made a conscious choice a while ago to let go of the expectation that my son would follow a traditional academic route when it became clear that it wasn’t for him. Expectations can lead to discontent. What truly matters to me is my son’s happiness. While some may perceive my support as laziness or a lack of belief in him, it’s quite the opposite. I wholeheartedly believe him when he expresses his desire to skip college and pursue a fulfilling career immediately after high school.
I’ve witnessed how much joy his work in the trades has brought him, and I refuse to hinder his pursuit of a happy life just because society deems college the next logical step after high school graduation. What’s normal for one person may not be for another, and I’m not about to force him into a path that doesn’t resonate with him. It’s his life to live, and frankly, I lack the energy to change his mind—it would be an uphill battle.
So, while many families prepare for college next year, my son and I will likely be exploring apartments or condos. He’ll be thrilled to wake up each day for a job he loves, where he feels skilled and confident while working with his hands.
The most significant benefit of allowing my son to carve his own path is the knowledge that he is genuinely happy. No expectation, scholarship, school, or degree can compare to that. After all, isn’t happiness what we all desire for our children? How fortunate that he has found it at such an early age, rather than drifting off course because he feels obligated to follow a traditional route.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out this related post. Also, if you’re interested in exploring options related to home insemination, consider visiting this authority on the topic.
Summary
My son has decided to forgo college after high school, and I fully support his choice. He’s found a passion in plumbing and has a clear plan for his future. Instead of succumbing to societal pressures, we’re embracing his decision, knowing it leads to his happiness.
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