I’m thoroughly convinced that “Mommy Brain” is not just a myth but a genuine condition that many mothers endure. The overwhelming fatigue we experience can cloud our thinking, making us forgetful and longing for the evening when we can finally indulge in Netflix and snacks. I used to think my Mommy Brain was challenging before the pandemic, but now, after being in quarantine for over two months, it feels magnified by tenfold.
A Recent Example
Take last week, for instance. Due to shelter-in-place orders and social distancing measures, nearly all of our scheduled medical appointments have been canceled or shifted to virtual visits. Yet, one appointment was non-negotiable: delivering my tween’s broken retainer to the orthodontist. Mid-lunch, my husband suddenly reminded me, “Don’t we have that appointment today?” A quick glance at the clock revealed we had only nineteen minutes to reach the office across town.
Sure, I had noted the appointment in my planner, set an alarm on my phone, and informed my daughter about it. But did I actually remember? Of course not. More often than not, when my phone alarm goes off, I find myself asking, “What’s that for again?”
Adjusting to the New Normal
Adjusting to this new normal has wreaked havoc on my ability to remember and follow through with any plans outside the house. My routine has been completely disrupted. Prior to the pandemic, I had four kids attending school, numerous appointments and meetings, errands to run, and extracurricular activities to manage. I would rush around all day, collapsing into bed at night only to rise early the next morning to repeat the cycle.
Before COVID-19 turned our lives upside down, many parents were so busy that forgetting something felt like toppling the first domino in a line; everything would come crashing down. This was especially true for larger families, where each child has their own unique schedule and needs.
The Increased Burden on Mothers
With our circumstances now drastically altered, mothers—who often shoulder the majority of the responsibilities—are tasked with reorganizing everything for their families. We now juggle more roles than ever, including serving as our children’s distance-learning instructors. Additionally, we must support each child’s mental and emotional well-being during this chaotic time, as their lives have been thrown into disarray. Older kids are missing proms and graduations, while younger ones desperately miss their friends and teachers.
Amidst all this chaos, there’s hardly any time for moms to relax and think clearly. We might jot something down or set an alarm, but when the moment arrives, we often forget what it was for. Even with the orthodontist sending reminders via text, email, and a phone call the day prior, I still forgot where I was meant to be at 1:40 p.m. on a Tuesday. To make matters worse, I can’t even keep track of what day it is. Did I have breakfast? What day of quarantine are we on? It feels like 2,687.
The Struggle for Organization
I usually pride myself on being organized, but I find myself completely out of my depth. My children are restless at night, likely due to anxiety from quarantine, which means I’m also struggling to sleep. Each morning, I face an overflowing inbox filled with school emails. What’s the password for that learning app again? Why is the Wi-Fi acting up? Who’s crying now? What’s for dinner? How can we be out of coffee?
My kids have missed Zoom meetings, and we’ve often logged on late or just in the nick of time. Assignments have slipped through the cracks as I juggle four different sets of work, along with my own tasks, which I often don’t start until right before dinner because my day is filled to the brim.
Managing Anxiety
I’m not just a full-time mom, nurse, educator, therapist, and partner; I’m also managing my own generalized anxiety disorder, which has been fluctuating during this time. Many mothers face similar challenges with anxiety or depression, making social isolation even more taxing. The coping strategies that usually help us, such as therapy, exercise, and self-care, aren’t always feasible right now—or are available only in small, sporadic doses.
Extending Grace to Ourselves
I’ve been focusing on extending myself a little grace during these times. This strange and sometimes unbearable situation has left many moms feeling frustrated, drained, and lost in a fog of motherhood. Forgetfulness is part of the package. Our minds are overwhelmed, filled not only with daily responsibilities but also with the constant emotional turmoil that arises from the pandemic. We’re just trying to make it through each hour, hoping we’re managing okay.
If you’re experiencing extreme Mommy Brain like I am, remember you’re not alone. Nearly every mother I know is in the same boat, navigating through each day and hoping to regain some semblance of normalcy. Until that day comes, we must do our best and remind ourselves of what truly matters: the health and safety of our families.
Further Reading
For more insights on the challenges of motherhood and other related topics, check out our post on home insemination. If you’re interested in fertility solutions, Make a Mom offers valuable resources, and Johns Hopkins provides excellent information about pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, the mental load of motherhood has intensified during quarantine, leaving many mothers overwhelmed and struggling to keep up with daily tasks and emotional support for their families. The situation is challenging, but it’s essential to focus on what truly matters: the well-being of our loved ones.
Leave a Reply