My spouse, Alex, enlisted in the military in his late twenties, a decision made while we were already married and raising a child. It was a challenging choice, requiring us to navigate various political, ideological, and spiritual considerations. Although we may not fit the conventional image of a military family, we recognized the necessity for service, and Alex stepped up. This choice has ultimately enriched our family life.
Initially, we were taken aback by how often people express gratitude for his service. Whenever he dons his uniform and stops out in public, individuals often feel compelled to say “thank you.” At first, Alex was uncomfortable with this attention. As a full-time member of the Air National Guard, he doesn’t see himself as deserving of praise for simply performing his routine, non-combat duties.
Yet, his service holds significance for many, irrespective of the specifics of his role. When people express their thanks, they seek acknowledgment rather than a justification for why he feels unworthy. They want to hear a simple “You’re welcome.”
For a time, Alex responded with, “Thank you for your support,” which felt fitting to him. However, after observing another service member reply with “You’re welcome. You’re worth it,” he adopted this phrase wholeheartedly. It struck a chord and now serves as a reminder to those he interacts with about their intrinsic value.
This phrase resonates within our family and reflects what we strive to teach our children. Personally, I lean towards the traditional “You’re welcome” rather than the more casual “No problem,” which I find lacks the warmth I prefer. Although I don’t mind when others say it, I want my children to prioritize “you’re welcome” as a standard polite response.
However, the more profound lesson I hope to instill is the idea that “You’re worth it.” When our children hear their father affirm a stranger in this way, I want them to grasp the full meaning behind it. Regardless of the phrase they use, I want them to internalize kindness, generosity, and the importance of treating others well, recognizing that everyone has inherent value.
We don’t enforce the use of this phrase for every instance of gratitude. We aren’t aiming to create children who parrot phrases inappropriately. Instead, we focus on discussing the importance of recognizing everyone’s worth. We address complex issues like racial inequality, LGBTQ+ rights, and privilege, ensuring our kids understand these topics, even if only the oldest child fully comprehends them.
It’s crucial for our children to learn that everyone deserves our time, effort, and kindness simply because they are human. When someone expresses gratitude, the response should reflect a genuine acknowledgment of their worth. It’s essential for them to adopt a mindset of willingness to help and serve others.
While adults recognize that not everyone is kind, and some individuals can be harmful, I prefer to assume the best in people until proven otherwise. I hope my children will adopt a similar perspective, believing in the goodness of others. It’s an essential practice, especially since developing a kind nature contributes positively to a child’s self-esteem.
A quote from a favorite personality, Mia Collins, sticks with me: “Esteemable acts create self-esteem.” This notion emphasizes that performing good deeds enhances self-worth. By teaching my kids the phrase “You’re welcome. You’re worth it,” I’m providing them with opportunities to engage in acts of kindness, which in turn fosters a positive self-image.
Ultimately, helping them recognize the value in others will also teach them to appreciate their own worth. When we acknowledge each other’s value, we all benefit. My goal is to raise compassionate individuals who understand that everyone deserves kindness.
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Summary:
In our family, we embrace the phrase “You’re welcome. You’re worth it” as a response to gratitude, instilling the importance of recognizing everyone’s inherent value. This approach fosters kindness, generosity, and a positive self-image in our children, emphasizing that all people deserve respect and kindness.
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