I have always been a type-A individual. I thrive on structure, planning, and managing my time efficiently. A busy schedule typically brings me joy, but these days, my calendar has drastically changed. With the exception of a rescheduled eye exam on June 4th, my days feel aimless, and I often find myself struggling to maintain focus and motivation.
I yearn for the simple pleasures of life: enjoying dinners out, watching my eleven-year-old son, Jake, play sports, shopping without a mask, and the warmth of hugs from family and friends. I miss attending church services and the camaraderie of sitting around a conference table with colleagues. I especially miss hearing about my son’s day after picking him up from school. Just last week, I was supposed to be hiking in the breathtaking landscapes of Yellowstone National Park.
While my list of things I miss could continue indefinitely, I recognize my fortune in this situation. I’m aware that many families have faced profound losses during the pandemic, while others endure significant financial struggles. Healthcare workers and essential personnel are selflessly attending to the needs of others, while I shelter in my comfortable suburban home alongside my husband and son. Both of us have the privilege of working from home, and I only need to support one child through e-learning. A friend of mine, who is pregnant and has a three-year-old, has been quarantining from her husband, a firefighter, since mid-March. Seeing her son say goodnight to his father through a window is a heartbreaking reminder of the realities many face. So, do I really have a reason to complain?
Despite knowing others have it much worse, my feelings of restlessness and anxiety are valid. The uncertainty of the future weighs heavily on my mind. Will my son return to school in the fall? Will my husband, who recently received a pay cut and was furloughed one day a week, remain employed? Will I still have a job in a couple of months? Will my loved ones be safe from COVID-19? With both my husband and son having asthma, these worries are ever-present.
The stay-at-home order has also significantly affected Jake’s life. He is naturally social and thrives on interaction with others. Each morning, he would spring out of bed, eager to head to school. Now, with no school and all activities on hold, he has struggled with moodiness and frustration.
Amidst these challenges, I’ve discovered a silver lining: more time with my family, which, let’s be honest, sometimes feels more like a challenge than a blessing. My previous daily commute consumed two hours, but now it involves a short walk to my desk in the guest bedroom. Although I miss our bustling social life, those evenings filled with practices, games, and events often left little room for family time.
This newfound time has allowed me to reconnect with Jake, which is essential as he grows more independent. I was emotional when he turned eleven last October, realizing how quickly he is becoming his own person, prioritizing friends over family. But with social distancing, it’s a lonely time for an only child. As his mother, I felt it was my responsibility to keep him entertained, so I embraced playtime with him once more.
Before the pandemic, we enjoyed activities together like biking, reading, and baking, but this experience is different. I’ve stepped back and let Jake take the lead. We’ve built a motorized boat with K’nex and Lego, though it quickly capsized in the bathtub. I’ve flown kites while shouting “Banana!” and engaged in epic Nerf battles. We even constructed a fort adorned with twinkling lights, where we enjoyed late-night movie marathons.
These playful moments, although sometimes hard on my back, have been revitalizing for my spirit. They provide a much-needed escape from reality and reignite my creativity. I’ve learned to savor each moment spent with my son, prioritizing joy and laughter in our lives.
At first, I thought I was merely fulfilling a motherly duty to keep Jake entertained, but in reality, I’ve found a true companion in him. Through our playful interactions, I’ve gained strength and a positive outlook during these trying times. Although I miss my pre-pandemic life, I cherish this time with Jake. I hope our shared adventures have brought him some joy too, as I’ve noticed he’s smiling more often.
This weekend, I’m ready for a homemade BattleBot tournament. I’ve duct-taped forks to a remote-control car—I’m determined to win!
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In summary, the pandemic has transformed my relationship with my son, turning me into his friend and confidant. While we navigate these uncertain times together, I’ve found joy in our shared experiences, reinforcing the importance of connection, laughter, and creativity in our lives.
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