My initial encounter with TikTok began as a research endeavor to understand how a fictional 16-year-old character in my upcoming novel might share information. I downloaded the app just before the world entered lockdown.
I was immediately drawn to TikTok, particularly because much of the content focuses on lip-syncing. Growing up in a small town during the 1980s, I fondly remember our school’s airband competitions. My twin brother and I once secured third place with our rendition of “Manic Monday” by The Bangles—a highlight of our childhood.
The app’s short videos are another appealing factor. As a mother of two—ages four and seven—my phone activities need to be quick, ideally under ten seconds. Luckily, TikToks last about 15 seconds, so I can manage.
Had it not been for the ongoing social distancing, my interest in TikTok might have faded quickly. However, it arrived at a much-needed time. If I were to chart my time during isolation, 98% would be spent caring for my children.
My kids are with me around the clock now. As wonderful as they are, they often experience bouts of anger and sadness. They miss their friends and activities, and so do I. This situation is undeniably challenging.
I craved a fresh way to connect with others. Facebook felt empty, and Twitter left me feeling worse about myself. After weeks of isolation, my Instagram feed—once a source of joy—had turned disheartening. Instead of photos of my kids and the outdoors, I found myself sharing images of my sourdough bread.
Baking and parenting offer some distraction, but I long for something more uplifting. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. My brother, who lives far away, texted me recently saying, “I miss new.”
TikTok has become my new source of excitement. At 40 years old, I’ve embarked on my own TikTok adventure.
My TikTok Journey
Three main types of TikToks capture my attention, though the platform offers a vast array of content. My feed typically falls into three categories: transformations, confessionals, and dance challenges.
Transformations feature users showcasing dramatic changes from one look to another. Confessionals involve lip-syncing to spoken dialogue, reminiscent of airbands without the music. However, dance challenges are the highlight of TikTok. These challenges commence when someone shares choreography set to a song snippet, and others replicate the dance. Some users film themselves reacting to the dances, while others get creative with costumes and unique moves. The result is an array of distinct, entertaining interpretations, akin to an Andy Warhol masterpiece in motion.
I decide my first TikTok will be a dance challenge. After some thought, I pick a username that feels cool yet tentative. I initially eye a sultry choreography to Megan Thee Stallion’s #savage, but it seems too ambitious for my first attempt. Instead, I settle on a jazzy routine for #blindinglights by The Weeknd, which resembles an energetic aerobics session.
TikTok allows users to record alongside existing videos in a feature called a duet. I choose to duet with a well-known father-son trio boasting over 100,000 followers whose moves are stylish and precise.
While washing dishes one morning, I attempt to mimic the choreography, feeling a bit like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. I may not have her talent, but that’s okay; the joy of TikTok lies in having fun, much like a summer party.
Choosing an outfit proves tricky. My husband works as a head brewer at a microbrewery, which means I am the primary caregiver, and we have a steady supply of delicious beer—definitely not a weight-loss combo. I ultimately opt for black leggings, a loose top, and red flats, channeling my inner off-duty ballerina.
To create my TikTok, I urge my kids outside to join me in the backyard. I hope my attempts at being a “cool dancer” will inspire them to participate. Their laughter as I practice confirms I might not be as cool as I hoped, but I’m enjoying myself immensely.
I must confess, I’m not a great dancer. With no formal training, my moves could be described as “goofy.” I thought the choreography would be straightforward, but it turns out it’s more challenging than I anticipated. The first move involves a dab and a side step, and I’m struggling to keep up. My daughter remarks that I look like I’m merely bouncing. I delete numerous takes, determined to get it right.
Then, in a moment of spontaneity, I bounce into the frame, dab, step, hop, and swim. I accidentally incorporate what resembles Irish Step Dancing—completely unplanned yet fitting. By the end of the routine, I kick at the camera with pure delight, feeling a shift within me. I’ve found my new joy.
The final frame captures a smile I haven’t worn in ages. Before sharing it, I add the hashtag #over40, recognizing the community of others like me finding joy on the platform. TikTok has become a source of happiness amidst isolation. While traditional gatherings are absent for now, we can still dance together.
Now, I’m ready to tackle #savage.
Further Reading
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Summary
In this article, Lila Sanders shares her unexpected journey into TikTok as a way to connect during the isolation of the pandemic. Initially downloaded for research, the app becomes a source of joy as she engages with various TikTok trends, particularly dance challenges. Despite her lack of dance training, she embraces the fun and creativity of the platform, finding a sense of community among others over 40 seeking joy in a time of social distancing.
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