Recently, I shared an article titled “Why I Will Never Walk Alone,” and I was truly touched by the warm and thoughtful feedback I received. This past week has been quite challenging (for reasons that are likely clear), but your encouraging words have reinforced my belief in humanity’s goodness. I’m immensely grateful for that.
Following the publication of my article, I was inundated with messages. While I can’t respond to each one, I’ve noticed recurring themes in the questions, which I’ll address in the seven most frequent inquiries below. If you haven’t read “Why I Will Never Walk Alone,” I recommend starting there. If you have, feel free to dive into the questions or skip down to the one that resonates with you the most. There’s much to unpack, so let’s get started:
1. “If your neighborhood is so frightening, why don’t you just move?”
I never labeled my neighborhood as “frightening”—it’s much like any neighborhood in America. What I did express is my anxiety about walking alone in my area. I genuinely appreciate my neighbors and have made several friends nearby. However, living in a city like Los Angeles means I don’t know everyone within a three-block radius.
Over the past couple of years, while out walking my dog (beyond my familiar streets), I’ve witnessed people crossing busy streets just to avoid passing me. When my dog is sniffing around, I’ve seen individuals looking out from behind their curtains, phone in hand. I pose no threat; I’m merely trying to enjoy some fresh air. These experiences are common for Black men and can be likened to a “death by a thousand paper cuts.” As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), these moments are not only exhausting but also deeply disheartening.
When I’m out alone, even wearing my cloth face mask, I could easily be misjudged as a threat by an overly cautious homeowner or a police officer. This reality is terrifying for me, as my priority is to always be present for my family, including my wife and daughters. Hence, I choose to be accompanied by them or my dog when walking in unfamiliar residential areas. And if you’re thinking, “Why not just take off your mask to look less threatening?” you’ve entirely missed the point.
2. “I always respond to Black Lives Matter with ‘All Lives Matter.’ Why is that problematic?”
Consider this analogy: If I broke my ankle playing basketball and sought medical help, only to hear my doctor say, “ALL bones matter,” it would be dismissive and even negligent, wouldn’t it? Yes, all bones have value, but right now, my broken ankle requires urgent care. This isn’t the time to bring up other injuries; one specific crisis is at hand.
The essential takeaway is that until Black lives matter, we cannot truthfully claim that all lives matter.
3. “I understand people are upset, but how does rioting serve your cause?”
Great question. Let’s break it down. We can agree there’s a disturbing trend of unarmed Black individuals being killed by police, right? In a new framework I’m creating called “Alex’s levels of outrage,” we can look at it like this:
- Level 1: Trusting authorities to prosecute officers who kill unarmed Black people (ineffective).
- Level 2: Peaceful protests to express discontent (not very effective either).
- Level 3: High-profile athletes kneeling during the national anthem (initially effective but quickly misinterpreted).
- Level 4: Rioting occurs when all previous efforts fail, and the outrage boils over, leading individuals to take drastic actions to be heard.
This doesn’t justify rioting, and let me emphasize: rioting and looting are illegal and should face consequences, just as the police brutality that spurs these events should.
As Martin Luther King Jr. articulated, “a riot is the language of the unheard.”
4. “I consider myself colorblind and don’t see race. What’s wrong with that?”
A lot, actually. I’m not referring to individuals with vision impairments but rather those who think being “colorblind” is commendable. This mindset encourages us to ignore our differences, which are significant. If you don’t acknowledge my race, culture, and heritage, how can you truly see me? My identity as Alex Williams—a proud African-American man—shapes my experiences, and I want you to recognize that. Genuine connection requires that we embrace and learn from our diverse backgrounds.
5. “What is white privilege? What can I do that you can’t?”
Here’s a recent example: A neighbor asked me to collect his Amazon packages while he was out of town. As a white man, you might not even think twice about that request. For me, however, the thought of walking to a house that isn’t mine, with others watching me, is daunting. This illustrates white privilege—not that your life isn’t challenging, but that your skin color doesn’t add to those challenges.
6. “Why is there outrage over a few bad cops when Black-on-Black crime happens more frequently?”
This question is frustrating and often asked without genuine intent to understand. First, while it’s true that a high percentage of Black murder victims are killed by Black perpetrators, white people kill other whites at similar rates. Most violent crimes occur within racial groups.
When addressing police brutality, the focus on Black-on-Black crime is irrelevant and distracts from the core issue. If a Black individual committed violence against a white person, it would be insensitive to divert attention to crime rates within white communities. Moreover, when Black individuals commit crimes, they are often prosecuted, unlike the police officers who kill unarmed Black people.
The notion that Black communities are indifferent to violence is false. Numerous initiatives and activism exist to combat crime, although these efforts rarely receive national attention.
In summary, the complexities surrounding racism and societal responses to it require deep understanding and empathy. It’s crucial to engage in these conversations with an open heart and mind.
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