Image Credit: Emma Carter Photography
Motherhood is a wild emotional journey. The highs bring immense joy and energy, while the lows can feel utterly draining. One moment I’m filled with pride watching my child learn something new, and the next, I’m battling the urge to escape to a quiet place, even if just for a moment! And this is in ordinary times, not during a pandemic when leaving the house is a distant memory.
Being a mother in the midst of a global crisis is unlike anything I’ve ever encountered. It’s not something any of us signed up for willingly. To call it challenging feels like an understatement so severe that I need to give myself a moment to process it. Challenging? More like impossible. Right now, I hear “Mama” far more often than I hear my own name, and it seems I am perpetually in the role of “Mama.”
I adore my children more than anything, but I never anticipated being with them every single hour of every single day. In pre-pandemic times, I had opportunities to take off my “Mom” hat and simply be Emma. They would go to school and daycare while I worked, and occasionally, they’d spend the night with their grandmother, allowing my husband and me some much-needed time together. Those breaks have vanished, and I’m left feeling drained. While joy still exists, the constant togetherness can be overwhelming.
I know many mothers are navigating this extended version of motherhood alongside me. But unlike before, we can’t gather for coffee or cocktails to share our experiences. We’re all facing the same cycle of pretend play, online school, endless meal prep, emotional management, and tidying up, while often attempting to juggle work responsibilities and our own identities. We are all in this together, but each of us is doing it in isolation. It’s a daily routine of wake, rinse, repeat.
In ordinary times, I’m a photographer. From an artistic perspective, the pandemic has created a unique narrative around family dynamics under lockdown. Unfortunately, I can’t visit clients’ homes to document their experiences, so I turned the lens on the only subjects I had access to—myself and my children.
I launched a self-portrait series with my kids, driven by the swirling emotions of motherhood during a pandemic. Capturing these feelings in photographs has proven cathartic, and it became an enjoyable collaboration. We created images that resonate with other mothers and caregivers, and my children got to see me in my element as a photographer. They learned that while I love being their mom, there’s more to me, and that small revelation helped recharge my spirit.
With the kids home all the time, I get plenty of so-called “help” with everything. My laundry goes through several rounds of folding: first, their version of helping, then my re-do, followed by a messy re-creation for playtime, and finally, a proper fold with a glass of wine after they’re asleep.
Being stuck at home means the fridge is always in sight, and in this odd routine, they now seem perpetually hungry. “Can I have this? How about that?” It’s relentless! I wish I could hide it, but it’s too big to ignore. I won’t officially endorse it, but sometimes I wish they’d just sneak what they want and let me be.
We’re learning to appreciate the mundane moments. Early in the pandemic, I felt the pressure to create extraordinary experiences for my girls, believing they needed excitement to compensate for what they were missing. However, I’ve realized that love and quality time are more than enough.
Driving has become more than just a means of transportation; it’s an activity that offers a semblance of normalcy. We often take drives to escape the house and reconnect with our community. Sometimes it’s comforting to see familiar sights, while other times, the emptiness brings sadness. For me, it’s a chance to sneak in some quiet reflection while the girls are buckled in.
Working from home with kids is like writing a paragraph one word at a time, stretched over an entire day. Each email I manage to send feels like a monumental achievement. If you find typos, just deal with it; no apologies here!
Some days, I wear my “Mama” hat with pride. You know those days when everything clicks, and I can effortlessly join in on their play? Those moments fill me with joy, and I love seeing their delight. I even give myself a little pat on the back for being a rock star mom.
Yet, there are days when I just don’t want to be “Mama.” Before the pandemic, I could call for backup—arranging playdates or hiring a babysitter for a breather. Now, there’s no tapping out, and those moments of escape are sorely missed.
Sunshine boosts my energy, so we take plenty of walks. I often give in to their requests to bring items along, even knowing it will slow us down to a crawl. The bikes they promise to ride end up abandoned, and my oldest will stop every few steps to reread her favorite parts from the latest book. If there were a world record for the slowest walk, we’d definitely be contenders.
If I’m lucky, I manage a quick nap, but even then, I have some kind of attraction for my kids—they always seem to end up on top of me. I can’t help but wonder if they’re in cahoots about it!
Even amid chaos, my girls always find joy, and their smiles are the fuel that propels me forward. The pandemic has given us the time to experiment with new recipes. My girls love baking, and while I have mixed feelings about the process, it often ends with a delicious treat—minus the infamous banana bread disaster.
I’m no superhero, and I accept that I can’t be the perfect mom all the time. My kids don’t require my undivided attention 24/7, so when they give me space, I embrace it.
Sometimes, life becomes overwhelming, and I find solace in reverting to childhood joys. Riding a tricycle is far more enjoyable than folding laundry, especially when wrinkled clothes become irrelevant in our everyday reality.
Somehow, we’re making this work—one day at a time, one activity at a time. It’s exhausting, but we’re doing it.
When motherhood feels suffocating, I remind myself of the importance of being a constant presence in my children’s lives. In these uncertain times, I am their anchor. I may not always do it perfectly, but I show up, and my love for them is unwavering.
For more insights into navigating motherhood, check out this helpful resource on family building options. And if you’re looking for home insemination kits, this authority on the topic has you covered. You can also explore another blog post that dives deeper into similar experiences.
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Summary:
Navigating motherhood during the pandemic is a unique and challenging experience filled with constant togetherness and emotional highs and lows. The author shares her journey through this chaotic time, highlighting the importance of love, creativity, and finding joy in everyday moments. While she faces the exhaustion of round-the-clock parenting, she embraces the role and finds solace in her children’s happiness.
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