Let me say it straight: this pandemic is incredibly challenging, especially for our children. I have a 9-year-old and a 14-year-old. My teenager should be spending weekends with friends—hanging out in town, chatting, and watching movies together. My younger child should be enjoying after-school playdates, celebrating birthdays, and eagerly anticipating his first sleepover.
Instead, neither of my boys has had in-person interactions with friends since March, and I don’t foresee that changing until the situation improves.
Fortunately, my kids get along reasonably well—at least as much as two spirited brothers can. They spend hours playing video games, share inside jokes, and occasionally bicker. So, while they aren’t devoid of interaction, the six-year age gap means they still need to connect with peers their own age. It’s tough to accept how much they’re missing out on socially.
Sure, they are managing as best they can, but there are limits. My teen engages in online gaming with his friends for hours and has even made new connections through the local youth center’s virtual programs. He participated in a summer online play and is set to perform again this winter. I often hear laughter from his room as he chats with friends. However, this isn’t how I envisioned his teenage years. I remember how desperately I wanted to be with my friends at that age. The thrill of sleepovers, late-night talks, and walks home from the library with a best friend are irreplaceable experiences.
I’m especially worried about my younger son. “Virtual playdates” haven’t resonated well with him; he was initially resistant to the idea. Although he’s become more open to it, finding other kids for him to connect with online has been a challenge. The few virtual interactions he has had seem unsatisfactory, leaving me concerned about his emotional growth and loneliness. I truly hope he’s forming connections with family, his online teacher, and classmates. I’ve seen him engaging with peers in online classes, and I’m optimistic that these interactions will pave the way for more fulfilling virtual friendships.
Despite these concerns, my kids will not be having playdates anytime soon. You might wonder why I’m being so strict. The pandemic is still rampant, and COVID cases are at alarming highs in our country. Our current leadership has done little to control the spread, and I feel a responsibility to minimize any chances of transmission.
My family has a moral obligation to protect others, which takes precedence over my children’s social needs. They can sacrifice a season or even a year of their social lives to safeguard the vulnerable. My children understand this, and I believe they are learning valuable lessons about kindness and morality, along with resilience and adaptability.
I’m also genuinely fearful for my family’s health. While children tend to fare better with COVID-19, there are still risks, especially since both of my kids have asthma. My younger son had a severe asthma attack last year that required emergency treatment; the thought of exposing him to a respiratory virus is terrifying.
Beyond the immediate dangers, I’m concerned about the potential for long COVID. This condition can lead to long-lasting health issues that affect daily life. It’s not something I would wish upon anyone, let alone my loved ones. As much as I recognize the importance of social interaction, I refuse to put my children at risk for a few playdates.
If I knew a family that took precautions as seriously as we do, I might consider a “bubble” arrangement for playdates. But I haven’t met anyone like that. I believe outdoor playdates with masks and social distancing could be safer, but how can kids genuinely enjoy that setup? My kids are not interested in such arrangements, and I understand why.
So, we will hold off on playdates until the pandemic risk diminishes significantly—likely until a vaccine is available or reliable treatments are in place to reduce severe outcomes. We’re prepared to wait, even if it means more time without socializing. Despite the struggles, I’m proud of how my kids are adapting.
One day, this nightmare will end, and their social lives will resume. I’m looking forward to ordering pizzas for my son and his friends as they gather around the table, laughing and discussing games I don’t quite understand. I envision my younger son joyfully baking cookies with his neighbor friend again. I hope that when they can finally play with friends, they’ll cherish those moments even more.
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Summary:
The ongoing pandemic has significantly impacted children’s social lives, leading to a lack of playdates and peer interactions. Parents are faced with the challenge of balancing their children’s need for socialization with health risks. While some virtual interactions occur, they often fall short of providing the necessary connections. Families must prioritize safety and moral responsibility, even if it means sacrificing social interactions for their children. Ultimately, the hope remains that once the pandemic subsides, children will return to their social lives with a renewed appreciation for friendships and shared experiences.
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