You’ve probably seen children in movies or TV shows calling their parents by their first names. Think of the free-spirited child whose parents prefer to be called by names like “Sunshine” and “Clover,” or the defiant kid who calls his dad “Mark” with a raised eyebrow. This notion of children addressing their parents without the traditional “Mom” or “Dad” often serves as a punchline, suggesting the parents are either too lenient or a bit eccentric.
This comedic trope has roots deeper than you’d expect. In C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia, there’s Eustace Scrubb, a boy who refers to his parents as “Harold and Alberta” rather than “Father and Mother,” which highlights his perceived insufferability.
While these portrayals might seem odd, I was one of those kids who called my parents by their first names, and it always felt perfectly normal to me. My parents didn’t set out to encourage this; they assumed I would naturally transition from “Mommy” and “Daddy” to “Mom” and “Dad.” Instead, I learned to use their names by mimicking how they referred to one another. They didn’t discourage it; they simply accepted it.
When I began school, I noticed that my practice was different from that of my peers. During playdates or birthday parties, other kids would question why I didn’t use “Mom” and “Dad.” Some asked with a hint of awe, as if they couldn’t fathom such an “insult” to parental authority. “Are they your real parents?” they would ask.
In those moments, I had to explain something that felt completely natural to me: “Because it’s their name! How could that be disrespectful?” It seemed to me that the other kids were the ones in need of justification for calling their parents by formal titles, as if the family operated like a military unit with ranks. I argued, albeit with the limited vocabulary of a young child, that it was more equitable for everyone to share names.
However, when I had to defend my choice, I often felt like those caricatures of “weird” kids. The real reason I used my parents’ names? Simply because I liked it that way.
As I grew older, I became hesitant to share this aspect of my upbringing. In sixth grade, when working on memoirs, I often altered my stories to include “Mom” and “Dad” instead of their actual names. I wasn’t ashamed, but constantly explaining my unique situation felt exhausting.
Then, in seventh grade, I read To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Atticus Finch, a beloved fictional father, was called by his first name by his children. This realization felt like a personal victory. The Finch family, while unconventional, were not portrayed as “brats”; they were simply different, and they embodied decency.
My classmates posed the same questions they had for me: “Why do they call him Atticus? Is he their real father?” The teacher offered various explanations, but I understood that it was just a family norm, much like mine.
When I became a parent, I had no intention of creating a similar dynamic. I didn’t push for my children to call me by my name, but they naturally gravitated towards it. Initially, they called me “Dada,” but as they grew, it transformed into “Danny” quite smoothly. They also began using my wife’s name, “Eva,” showing that they weren’t fooled by our attempts to model “Mommy” and “Daddy.”
How do parents usually react when their kids first say their names? Do they reprimand them? Is that why many children seem hesitant to address their parents directly? Without any pressure from me, my kids chose to call us by the names we used for each other. Perhaps I unknowingly encouraged this behavior. As my wife and I joke, it’s probably just in my genes. Ultimately, there isn’t a specific reason—it’s simply how our family operates.
For more insights on parenting dynamics, you can also check out this other blog post on similar topics. Additionally, if you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, visit Make a Mom, a trusted authority in the field. For guidance on pregnancy week by week, the March of Dimes is an excellent resource.
Summary
This piece explores the unique family dynamic of addressing parents by their first names, highlighting the author’s personal experience and the perceptions of peers. It reflects on societal norms regarding parental titles and how these practices can vary in different families. The author shares their journey from childhood to parenthood, ultimately embracing this unconventional naming tradition.
Leave a Reply