I watch children playing together at the park, laughing and racing around. They share stories while their parents gather to chat about their little ones’ milestones and plan future coffee outings. In contrast, my reality feels isolating. I am the mom sitting alone, sipping my coffee in silence, preoccupied with thoughts of upcoming therapy sessions and monitoring my son’s health. The to-do list is never-ending: tracking bowel movements, scheduling blood tests, and more.
I often find myself hesitating to engage with other mothers. I fear they wouldn’t understand my life, or perhaps they wouldn’t care. I know every parent faces their own challenges, from encouraging their kids to tidy up to managing typical childhood defiance.
I understand that parenting is demanding. But the experiences of a parent of a child with special needs are uniquely different. I am the mom examining the triggers behind my son’s meltdowns, meticulously recording data to pinpoint unsettling behaviors. I am the one trying to prevent my child from darting into the street, oblivious to the dangers. I juggle numerous therapy sessions and medical appointments, constantly advocating for my son’s needs.
Sleepless nights are spent worrying about the future. What will happen if I’m not there to care for him? Will he be looked after? Will I ever hear him say “mama” again? I am the mother who fights for acceptance and despises judgment from others.
I often wish life were easier for my son. I long for kindness and understanding from those around us. I feel the sting when friends drift away and family members struggle to empathize. Some nights, tears fall as I grapple with the weight of it all.
Despite the challenges, I cherish being a mother to my incredible boy. He embraces each day with joy, dances like no one is watching, and finds delight in life’s simple pleasures. His laughter, smiles, and warm hugs fill my heart with love. Autism may present obstacles, but it does not define who he is. He is a sweet, funny, and caring child, with a passion for dancing, music, and playing outdoors.
I adore my son for the unique person he is.
This article was originally published on November 24, 2020.
For more insights, check out this related post here. If you’re considering home insemination, I recommend looking at the offerings from Make a Mom, who provide excellent resources on this topic. You might also find invaluable information at ACOG.
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- How to support a child with autism
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- Resources for autism advocacy
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- Finding community as a special needs parent
Summary:
Parenting a child with autism comes with unique challenges that shape the experience of motherhood. While it can feel isolating, the joy and love for my son remain at the forefront. Autism is just one aspect of who he is, and I embrace every moment spent with him.
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