From a young age, I’ve always leaned towards caution. As a child, I’d sit at the edge of the sandbox, carefully keeping my feet outside while playing with a spoon. Walking barefoot on grass made me uneasy because I was unsure what was beneath my feet. I even clung to water wings until I was nearly seven.
If you know the Enneagram test, I fit the profile of a type 6. This means anxiety is a constant undercurrent in my life—something I’ve learned to manage without letting it dictate my actions. While I’ve never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, its presence resembles that of an imaginary friend, offering both comfort and a sense of safety. However, as I recognize its influence, I realize it may make me seem peculiar to others. Thus, when a global pandemic hit, my cautious nature intensified.
Throughout this pandemic, my partner and I have taken every precaution we can muster. We adhere to expert recommendations: no indoor dining, no gyms, no air travel, and no unmasked indoor gatherings. Before meeting friends or family in small groups, we ensure everyone has had no exposure to others outside their homes. Honestly, it can be exhausting.
We’re all fed up with this virus—we long for the day when we can experience life unencumbered by masks, attend concerts, dine out, host gatherings, and visit distant family members. The fatigue surrounding COVID is palpable, and I feel it deeply. However, my experience differs from many around me because I am actively modifying my life in response to this pandemic.
Living in a conservative Southern area, I’ve observed that many people here are dismissing the virus’s seriousness. They refuse to make even minor sacrifices for the greater good or for their loved ones, often citing the mantra of refusing to “live in fear.” This phrase is frequently parroted on social media, and it frustrates me deeply because it highlights a troubling trend: selfish behavior.
Let’s clarify: taking this virus seriously does not equate to “living in fear.” Choosing not to socialize with those who disregard health recommendations is not a sign of fearfulness. In fact, labeling responsible individuals as irrationally afraid is a form of gaslighting that we must confront. When you dismiss someone’s legitimate fear during an unprecedented global crisis, you undermine their valid response. Gaslighting manipulates others into doubting their feelings, which is simply unacceptable, especially in our relationships.
Moreover, the “I refuse to live in fear” argument serves as a misguided coping strategy to rationalize selfish and reckless actions. I am weary of seeing individuals go about their lives as if nothing has changed, using the slogan “don’t live in fear” to justify their dangerous choices. Health experts worldwide have consistently communicated the steps necessary to curb the virus’s spread: wear masks in public, avoid gatherings—especially indoors—refrain from indoor dining and religious services, and limit social interactions to those who follow health guidelines. These are small sacrifices in the grand scheme of things. Yet, when we refuse to make them, we find ourselves facing dire statistics: over 1,000 daily deaths, nearly 150,000 new cases each day, and hospitals nearing collapse.
So, spare me the notion that my responsible choices amount to “living in fear.” I don’t act out of fear; I act out of compassion. I am not afraid; I am committed to doing my part to help end this pandemic. When you attempt to make me feel irrational or weak for choosing to be responsible, you reveal your own selfishness. You prioritize your social life over the lives of others. It’s time to call out those who use this argument for what they are: selfish.
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Summary:
In the face of a global pandemic, many individuals use the phrase “I refuse to live in fear” to justify reckless behavior and disregard for health guidelines. This attitude not only reflects selfishness but also undermines the valid concerns of those who prioritize safety and community well-being. Recognizing the difference between fear and responsibility is crucial, as we navigate these challenging times.
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