As I navigate the decision my partner and I made to send our twin daughters back to school during these unprecedented times, I find myself grappling with mixed emotions. As the main caregiver working from home, juggling my full-time job while managing their “classroom” at our dining room table, I was initially thrilled when our school district announced a gradual return to in-person learning. They would start with younger grades and then assess the situation before moving forward.
By the time the announcement arrived in early November, I had noticed a few more gray hairs sprouting, often forgot to eat lunch, and felt ready to throw in the towel by mid-afternoon. I recognized that there were certain experiences and lessons my children could only gain in a traditional school setting. They would have the chance to develop social and emotional skills, foster independence, and create friendships. They would engage with their physical education and art teachers, visit the library, and make their own choices in the cafeteria. Most importantly, they would learn from dedicated educators who I trust.
However, my conflict lies in the knowledge that by sending our children back into the classroom, we are intentionally putting them, along with their teachers and school staff, at risk of COVID-19. As highlighted by health experts, “The goal of having children attend school in person – which is how they learn best – will only be safe when a community has the spread of the virus under control.” Our district is monitoring the situation closely, but I still feel the weight of uncertainty.
Every day, we make choices for our kids, some of which feel right, while others are fraught with difficulty. Although teaching my children at home presents its challenges, the financial burden many families face, particularly during the holiday season, is daunting. If my partner or I were to lose our jobs or get sick, it could jeopardize our ability to provide for our family.
We acknowledge our privilege in being healthy and employed, and we are doing our best to manage everything, even if it feels overwhelming. My five-year-olds don’t engage with their teachers online the same way they do in person. Last week, at drop-off, they raced to the doors, shouting “I LOVE SCHOOL!” Hearing their joy was bittersweet. The week before, they even pleaded to arrive early just to be first in their classrooms.
For the sake of our children, school is essential. So, if we’re adhering to proper safety measures as outlined by their school and health authorities, why does this decision feel so daunting? The reality is that we are unsure of what lies ahead this year and how the pandemic will evolve. We know that lives are at stake, schools are shutting down, and life as we once knew it has changed forever. Yet, our children still require education, and parents must continue to provide for their families.
When the girls return home from school, I take extra precautions: they wash their hands, change their clothes, and shower. Their masks and jackets get washed, too. I ensure they stay hydrated and eat their fruits and veggies, and we discuss safety protocols before they go to school: use hand sanitizer, wear masks, avoid sharing food, and listen to their teachers.
I remind myself that teachers are showing up every day because they care about our kids, making their own tough decisions in the process. Their commitment to education is vital for our children’s future, even when everything feels overwhelmingly difficult.
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In summary, while sending kids back to school feels like the right decision for their growth and development, the accompanying fears and uncertainties are difficult to navigate. Balancing the need for education with health risks presents a significant challenge for families, but staying informed and cautious can help ease some of the pressure.
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