Confessions About Holiday Cards: Our Love-Hate Affair

Let’s face it: the whole holiday card tradition can be a real headache. Whether you’re the type who outright rejects the idea, tossing most cards you receive right into the trash, or you’re the one forcing your family into staged photos that scream “look at us, we have it all together” while secretly resenting the whole charade—this post is for you. For many, holiday cards just add to the stress during an already hectic and costly season.

Despite the collective groans about holiday cards, we still find ourselves dressing our kids in matching outfits, bribing them with treats for a smile, and mailing off these posed family photos to relatives we hardly see. All for what? To maintain an illusion of a perfect life? (Spoiler alert, everyone probably already sees through it.)

Then there are those of us who opt for a more “realistic” approach—sending out pictures of crying, mud-covered toddlers, makeup-free selfies of frazzled parents, and messy living rooms. Because honestly, that’s what life looked like in 2020. “Happy freaking holidays,” might be the caption. “Can we please get these kids back to school in 2021 so I can have a breather?” Is it just us?

I don’t bother with Christmas cards; I mean, who really cares about your family updates anyway? I’d rather send a gift or skip it entirely.

Confession #25810079: Maybe one day, we’ll realize that most people don’t want to receive family photos in the mail. Honestly, I hate getting them; it feels like an unnecessary brag.

Confession #1522299: I can’t help but judge everyone’s card choices.

Confession #1762016: I really don’t need a photo of your family swimming with dolphins in Cancun unless you’re a close friend or relative.

The harsh truth is that many recipients of those pricey cards likely toss them right in the bin. Keep that in mind next time you splurge on holiday outfits for that “perfect family photo.”

The only smiling picture I managed to get of my daughter was when she was glued to her iPad, so I edited a cartoon present into her hands for our holiday card.

Confession #2079953: I obsess over getting the “perfect” holiday cards each year.

Confession #1661563: I love sending out matching pajama holiday cards, yet the truth is my husband and I can barely stand each other.

Confession #1599359: Everything in my holiday newsletter this year was fabricated, except for the names.

Confession #1679649: Despite my dislike for Christmas, I still send out nice cards just to impress family. One year, I’ll just sign them “Xmas Sucks.”

Yet, even with the awareness that our efforts might go unappreciated, we still chase the idea of the perfect card. Even if it means arguing with our partner, dealing with crying kids, and putting on a facade.

I often try to send cards, but with holiday chaos, they typically arrive late.

Confession #25810015: Holiday cards give me anxiety. If I get one, then I feel obligated to return the favor, but I just don’t see the point!

Confession #8492179: I’m usually not anxious, but writing cards makes me feel that way. What if I misspell something? It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy—bring on the holiday cards, so I can cringe.

For many of us, the holiday card process only adds to our anxiety. We already have gingerbread houses to construct, cookies to bake, and presents to wrap.

After living in our new home for over three years, this Christmas, the previous residents received more cards than we did.

Confession #2603396: I thought I had lots of friends until I moved to a small town and got only one holiday card this year.

Confession #1679769: We sent out 30 cards and only received one back—I feel so forgotten.

Confession #1677598: I’ve kept my holiday cards displayed because they make me feel connected to friends I haven’t talked to in years—pathetic, right?

Confession #2579533: I used to love the holidays, but now they just remind me of being single and without kids. I resent seeing family cards with cute kids and engagement ring ads.

It’s true that the holiday card tradition can intensify feelings of loneliness. Some people receive a mountain of cards from family and friends, while others are lucky to get just one. The feeling of being forgotten during the holidays can sting.

I recently got a Christmas card from Domino’s, which probably means we ordered too much pizza this year!

Confession #1597994: My only holiday card came from my divorce lawyer.

Confession #1763044: My kids are making cards for family we can’t see because of COVID. One reads “Happy Waiting,” which might just become our new greeting.

Regardless of the cards you choose to send (or don’t), they’ll reflect your year. This year’s cards may show masked faces or remind you of the countless takeout meals you had during the pandemic. We hope you can find some bright spots and joyful memories among the chaos, as this year has been a rollercoaster for many.

Whether you love them or loathe them, the holiday card industry is not going anywhere anytime soon. There’s no need to feel judged if you skip this tradition or share your family moments on social media. Or, if you prefer to send out an elaborate newsletter, do what suits you. Just don’t stress about making it flawless—those who truly care about you know the reality, whether you have it all together or are a beautiful mess.

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Summary

The tradition of sending holiday cards can be both a source of joy and stress. Many feel pressured to create the perfect card despite the fact that most recipients may not even care. The process often leads to anxiety and feelings of loneliness, especially during the holidays. Ultimately, it’s important to do what feels right for you and to remember that real friends appreciate you regardless of any holiday card.