For a long time, I’ve engaged in masturbation, but it wasn’t until my forties that I truly embraced it as a vital aspect of self-care. I vividly recall a college party during my senior year, where I sat with some friends and, after a few glasses of cheap wine, the topic of masturbation came up. I boldly admitted to occasionally indulging, but I had always relied on tools rather than my hands. Back in the early ’90s, vibrators were hard to come by, so we had to get a bit creative.
To my surprise, my friends confessed they had never tried it, leaving me feeling somewhat isolated as I continued to sip my drink.
Growing up, I often felt guilty about masturbation. As a teenager and young adult, I viewed it as something shameful. Afterward, I would blush with embarrassment, treating it as a last resort rather than an opportunity for exploration. The reality is, there hasn’t been enough dialogue about the benefits of masturbation for those with vaginas. While discussions have revolved around male pleasure, we’ve had to learn about our bodies on our own. Fortunately, that narrative is shifting.
If you’re feeling awkward about masturbation, know you’re not alone. My own journey progressed from simple rubbing to fully exploring my body without inhibition. Discovering my own pleasure has significantly boosted my self-esteem in intimate settings.
Consider this: denying yourself the pleasure your body craves is a form of rejection. There’s no right or wrong way to enjoy yourself, and if you’re capable of giving yourself pleasure, why wouldn’t you? There’s no need to settle for mediocre experiences. I often rushed through my self-exploration, especially during those solo years when I had the perfect setting—candles lit, lovely lingerie—but I’ve learned better now.
Masturbation should absolutely be part of our self-care routines. It empowers us; how can we expect others to fulfill our desires if we don’t even know what those are? It’s a pathway to discovering how to achieve incredible orgasms—something everyone should aspire to.
Regardless of your relationship status, if you feel the urge, don’t hold back for your partner’s sake. In fact, exploring your body can enhance your connection when you are together. It’s akin to nurturing a smoldering fire.
Moreover, the health benefits of orgasms are noteworthy. They can improve skin quality and even slow down the aging process. A study from the University of Michigan indicates that orgasms can elevate estrogen levels, contributing to better mood and skin health. They also serve as a fantastic stress reliever and can even alleviate headaches or menstrual cramps. While we often focus on nourishing our bodies through diet and exercise, masturbation is a crucial yet overlooked aspect of self-care.
If you’re new to this journey, begin by setting aside time for yourself—perhaps in the shower. Take it slow and focus on exploring your body. Remind yourself of the nourishing nature of this experience. Soon, you’ll find yourself craving this newfound self-care ritual and feeling empowered.
Women and those with vaginas have long been conditioned to prioritize their partners’ pleasure. It’s time to shift that focus inward and recognize that the same level of care should be extended to ourselves.
For more insights on self-care and home insemination, check out this related blog post. Also, if you’re interested in fertility, Make a Mom offers valuable resources. Additionally, American Pregnancy provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
Masturbation is an important self-care practice that empowers individuals to understand their bodies and enhance their sexual experiences. Despite societal stigmas, exploring personal pleasure is beneficial for both mental and physical health. By embracing this practice, individuals can boost self-esteem, relieve stress, and improve overall well-being.

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