My eldest child quickly adapted to potty training, learning to wake up at night to use the bathroom shortly after she started wearing underwear during the day. It was a relief to have one of my three kids out of diapers and Pull-Ups, so I didn’t think much about whether she was early or late in staying dry overnight.
However, when her twin siblings reached four and then five years old while still wetting the bed, I began to worry they were lagging behind. By age six, my son had transitioned out of Pull-Ups, but his twin sister was still using them, which troubled her. We had family discussions about how everyone’s body develops at its own pace, and it was perfectly normal for her to not yet wake up during the night to go to the bathroom.
Even though I had concerns about her bedwetting, friends and our pediatrician reassured me that she would eventually outgrow it, a reality more common than many parents realize. I didn’t share my worries with her directly but made sure to comfort her with this information. Now at seven and a half, she still wets the bed, but we’ve both learned to manage it without stress. While she’d prefer not to wear Pull-Ups, there’s no pressure on her to stop. She feels embarrassed at times, but I never want her to feel ashamed of something beyond her control. In fact, her playful moments—like wearing a clean Pull-Up on her head like a chef’s hat—help alleviate her embarrassment.
When bedwetting occurs in children over the age of five, it’s termed nocturnal enuresis, which can be categorized into two types: primary enuresis (when a child has never achieved nighttime dryness) and secondary enuresis (when a child reverts to bedwetting after at least six months of being dry). Up to 10% of seven-year-olds might still experience bedwetting, and between 1% and 3% of teenagers might face the same issue. Primary enuresis is typically a developmental delay in the bladder, kidneys, or brain. Some kids may have smaller bladders or simply struggle to wake when their bladder is full; these children often need more time for their bodies to mature.
If older kids experience secondary enuresis, it’s wise to consult a doctor, as this could indicate stress, a urinary tract infection, or a neurological issue. Genetics can play a role as well; if one biological parent struggled with bedwetting, there’s a 50% chance their child may too, while the likelihood rises to 75% if both parents had similar experiences. Reflecting on your own childhood may help ease your frustration—consider how old you were when you finally stopped wetting the bed. Your child may have inherited this trait along with your eye color.
There are medications available that can help with bedwetting, but the issue often returns once the medication is discontinued unless the child has outgrown the condition. My daughter’s doctor mentioned that some parents find success with bedwetting alarms, which help train the brain to respond to the sensation of a full bladder. However, it’s crucial to get the child up every time the alarm sounds to reinforce this learning.
Our pediatrician also recommended limiting my daughter’s fluid intake an hour before bedtime, ensuring she uses the bathroom right before sleep, and even waking her once I go to bed to help her pee again. While these strategies may train her bladder, they also help minimize the risk of her leaking through her Pull-Up. I have yet to try waking her up during the night, mainly because she doesn’t want me to and I’m hesitant to disturb her sleep.
It can be frustrating to still be purchasing Pull-Ups and doing extra laundry, but I refuse to let my child feel inferior just because she is not at the same stage as her siblings or peers. As with learning to tie shoes or mastering daytime potty training, children will get there when they’re ready. Since discussing my daughter’s bedwetting with other parents, my worries have lessened. Some have shared stories of their own children, who struggled with nighttime dryness well into their pre-teens but eventually outgrew it. If your child hasn’t stopped wetting the bed by their teenage years, consulting a physician is advisable; however, trusting your child’s process is often the best approach.
I suggest investing in high-quality waterproof mattress protectors and finding a solution that suits both you and your child. Depending on their level of discomfort, they may prefer to explore options beyond simply waiting it out. For those who are comfortable in Pull-Ups or nighttime underwear, offering support is essential. Adding pressure, stress, and unrealistic expectations only compounds the issue.
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Summary:
Bedwetting in older children, known as nocturnal enuresis, is a common issue that often resolves with time. It’s essential for parents to understand that each child’s development varies and that genetic factors may play a role. Instead of stressing, focus on supportive strategies and consult a doctor if necessary. Investing in waterproof mattress covers and maintaining a calm environment can help alleviate concerns for both the child and the parents.
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