I’m utterly drained. I realize I’m not alone in this, but being a new mom during the pandemic while teaching high school full-time is a whole new challenge. I’ve generally been good at managing stress, yet this year is anything but typical.
My first breakdown occurred in August, just as teachers were returning to school. A few days after sending my four-month-old son to daycare, I noticed he was a bit congested. Despite being seemingly fine—no fever, no trouble eating—I couldn’t shake the worry. I told myself it was just a typical daycare cold, but in 2020, even the slightest sniffle sends me into a spiral of anxiety. When a friend alerted me that her son’s class was sick and they were getting tested for strep and COVID, I panicked. I had sent my son to daycare, while she had kept hers home.
After calling my husband in tears, I decided to pick up my son and try for a pediatrician appointment. Crying in the car, I felt overwhelmed, even though I knew my son was okay. Thankfully, he wasn’t sick, and neither was my friend’s family. But this neurosis is what parenting looks like in a pandemic. Each cough or sneeze feels loaded with meaning, and with my son in daycare and me teaching 135 students daily, the tension is constant.
My second meltdown came just before Halloween when my son’s teacher tested positive for COVID, causing his class to quarantine. With my district’s policies, I was still expected to work while my husband balanced working from home and watching our son. Although I tested negative, the uncertainty weighed heavily on us. The anxiety about every little cough became a daily struggle.
Deciding to send my son to daycare and return to teaching was a tough choice. I had just earned my master’s and renewed my AP Literature certification, and leaving my job felt like a step backward. We agreed I would take every precaution possible, trusting in the daycare’s safety measures, yet I still question our choices daily.
As a new parent, what many might dismiss as paranoia feels like a legitimate concern. Motherhood is already tough, but with a pandemic that some dismiss or deny, it’s nearly impossible. Managing the complexities of health and political views during this time is something most new moms don’t have to face.
I’ve always handled stress well, but this year has changed everything. My son is now seven months old and still in daycare. Everyone, including his teachers and my students, wears masks. I do all I can to maintain our safety, yet I continuously wonder if it’s enough.
I feel isolated, like I’m on an island while others seem oblivious to the dangers surrounding us. They acknowledge the risks but hope they’ll be spared. I’m not concerned with the odds; my priority is keeping my son safe. If that leads to strained family relationships or tears over minor illnesses, so be it. I’m prepared to wear protective gear to teach if it means prioritizing safety.
What I can’t bear is this isolation. I need support and understanding. I urge those who dismiss the seriousness of the pandemic to show empathy. It’s crucial to recognize that just because something doesn’t affect you doesn’t mean it’s not real. I’m overwhelmed, anxious, and tired of pleading for awareness.
I’m just so, so tired.
For further insights on this topic, check out this post that discusses similar experiences. For more resources on at-home insemination, visit Make A Mom for their comprehensive kits. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources for those exploring pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
This article discusses the challenges faced by a new mom balancing full-time teaching and parenting during the coronavirus pandemic. The author shares personal experiences of anxiety and stress, especially when it comes to health concerns regarding her infant son and the risks associated with in-person teaching. She emphasizes the need for empathy and understanding from others while navigating the complexities of motherhood in these unprecedented times.
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