From The Confessional: We Crave Adventurous Intimacy

The long-held belief that men should always take the lead while women wait to be approached for intimacy is outdated. Today, women are embracing their desires and are more vocal about what they want in the bedroom.

And thank goodness for that! Have you ever been in a situation where your partner is trying to please you but missing the mark? A simple nudge like, “Could you shift to the left?” or “Go a bit faster,” can make all the difference. Yet, many women, myself included, have hesitated to express their needs.

I often felt embarrassed for desiring a bit of kink—like being spanked or having my hair tugged. I enjoy dirty talk and sometimes prefer to take on the submissive role. If I’m left unsatisfied, I’m not going to stay quiet about it. It’s not just about women wanting to be pleased; we also want to reciprocate. But let’s be clear—if I’m not getting what I need, I’m not inclined to be available for your pleasure at the drop of a hat.

I opened up to my partner about my fantasies, and to my surprise, he confessed his own desires too. It was a liberating conversation that opened the door for more honest communication. Sharing what you want can create a comfortable space for your partner to express their needs as well. It’s essential to have trust and comfort with each other, but discussing your desires can be a thrilling form of foreplay.

I suggested to my partner that we need to prioritize romance and intimacy, especially with the challenges of parenting a toddler. It’s common for mothers to feel less like themselves, and it’s crucial to communicate what we need outside the bedroom to get in the mood.

At 50, I’ve discovered the best intimacy of my life! Many women take time to understand their preferences. In my younger years, I often felt unfulfilled, but once I learned to express my worth and desires, I discovered that asking for what I want leads to incredible experiences.

If it’s a first date and he doesn’t reciprocate oral pleasure, I won’t hesitate to leave. I tell them why, and their disappointment doesn’t concern me. If a partner is selfish from the start, things are unlikely to improve.

I understand the frustration of partners lacking knowledge in the bedroom. If they’re not meeting expectations, it’s helpful to guide them gently—whether during the act or afterwards. Sharing resources or clips that demonstrate what you enjoy can also be beneficial.

A friend recently suggested I share snippets of erotic stories with my partner, which could spark some inspiration.

As a divorced woman in my 40s, I’ve found that many men lack experience and may have never had someone show them the ropes. While it’s not our responsibility to teach them, discussing our needs can be empowering and sexy. If communication doesn’t lead to improvement, you may need to reassess your situation.

In conversations with my divorced friends, we’ve joked about how we could lead a revolution—living together and keeping men on the side for fun. Strong emotional connections outside the bedroom often enhance our experiences under the sheets.

I’m eagerly looking forward to a weekend trip with friends where we can explore new levels of intimacy. I’ve discovered that having my partner watch can heighten the experience. There’s absolutely no shame in expressing what you enjoy, whether it’s being called a dirty name or trying something new.

After 16 years, my partner and I have become more adventurous than ever. Who says your intimacy has to dwindle over time? Communicating openly about what you want allows for a fulfilling and exciting sex life.

Forget the old notions of intimacy being solely about penetration. We have the freedom to explore our desires, whether they’re adventurous or more subdued. Remember, no one knows what you crave more than you do, and it’s essential to voice those needs.

For more insights, check out our related post on home insemination and visit Make a Mom for expert information. For those seeking guidance on pregnancy and conception, the CDC’s pregnancy page is a fantastic resource.

Summary:

This piece emphasizes the importance of open communication in intimate relationships, especially for women who are learning to express their desires. It advocates for breaking traditional roles and encourages partners to engage in honest discussions about their needs. The article highlights the benefits of exploring fantasies and maintaining a strong emotional connection.