Recently, I had the joy of teaching my son how to cook. At 13 years old, we decided to whip up some Dutch pancakes and fried potatoes together. As he cracked eggs and I referred to our recipe, we enjoyed the festive spirit of Christmas music in the background, while my partner worked on our family budget at the table. It struck me that just a few years ago, I wouldn’t have been home at that hour. In 2019, my commute kept me at work until nearly 6:10 PM, but now, with remote work and virtual schooling, I get to share these special moments with my kids.
With both my partner and I working from home and our children attending classes online, I’ve found myself spending significantly more time with my children—more than I ever thought possible. It turns out many fathers are experiencing this same shift, and experts suggest this increase in fatherly involvement could become a lasting trend. I wholeheartedly support this change.
Ann Francke, CEO of the Chartered Management Institute, shared with The Guardian how 2020 has redefined fatherly roles: “Business leaders have witnessed the challenges of balancing work and family life, realizing that both parents must be supported in this endeavor. The transition to remote work has highlighted the benefits of flexible arrangements for all employees and could lead to cost savings. Fathers play a crucial role in advancing gender equality for mothers. Progress for fathers at home is essential for mothers to thrive in the workplace; they are two sides of the same coin.”
As a father of three, I’ve noticed employers beginning to recognize fathers as equal caregivers. When my two oldest were born, I was working as a waiter without benefits, and paternity leave was a foreign concept. I managed to take only a few days off after their births. By the time my youngest arrived, I had a job at a university, complete with benefits. However, when I expressed my intention to take a month off to bond with my newborn and support my partner post-delivery, my boss essentially told me that as a man, I didn’t need that much time. This blatant dismissal wasn’t an isolated incident; I’ve faced similar pushback from supervisors, and social stigma from coworkers whenever I’ve tried to take time off for my children. This often leaves my partner bearing most of the childcare responsibilities.
The pandemic has exacerbated the inequality in childcare, with mothers often bearing the brunt of the burden. A recent article in The Guardian referred to working mothers in the UK as “sacrificial lambs” during the COVID childcare crisis. As a father who has fought for the flexibility to be more involved in my children’s lives, this reality frustrates me deeply.
Yet, there’s hope for a more balanced future. Despite the challenges of 2020, data shows that the gender gap in childcare has notably narrowed. The UK Office for National Statistics reported a 58% increase in childcare responsibilities taken on by men during the first COVID lockdown in May. History suggests that such shifts in male involvement may have lasting effects, ultimately benefiting working mothers.
Adrienne Burgess, co-CEO of the Fatherhood Institute, noted, “Research shows that crises can accelerate social movements. For example, before World War II, women were gradually entering the workforce, but the war catalyzed that shift. We may be witnessing a similar evolution regarding men’s participation in childcare.”
While opinions may vary, I can’t help but feel optimistic about these developments. This past year has undoubtedly been challenging, marked by rapid adjustments in both my career and my partner’s job, as well as in my children’s education. However, working from home has provided my colleagues and supervisors a glimpse into my life. I’ve participated in numerous Zoom meetings with a child on my lap or another asking for homework help—showcasing that fathers have caregiving duties too. I believe this will serve as a wake-up call for employers and fathers alike.
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