Four hours a day—that’s how much time I used to spend commuting from my home in Connecticut to my office in midtown Manhattan. Initially, I regarded the commute as a much-needed escape from the chaos of my kids. It was my time to meditate, read, or simply gaze out the window while riding the Metro-North before diving into a busy workday at 8 a.m. I would hop off the train, drop my coat and lunch at my desk, and then dash to the restroom and coffee machine before settling in for hours of work before the return trip home.
Then the pandemic hit in March, changing everything.
I didn’t realize how desperately I needed that break until it was gone. Now, I no longer commute to New York due to COVID-19, but I am thankful to still have my job. Being at home, effectively a teacher to my three children while also ensuring they’re fed and safe, has taught me about the importance of boundaries—a lesson I’ve been trying to master my entire life.
Establishing Boundaries
Establishing boundaries is essential for my mental well-being. They play a crucial role in my daily life, although creating them hasn’t always been straightforward. In college, I learned to say “no,” even if it was softly spoken. The pandemic has forced me to revisit those words I had long buried in my quest for career advancement. I’ve been advocating for my needs (and my children’s) in ways I never anticipated nine months ago. My family’s structure has relied on my ability to voice my needs, set limits, and occasionally decline work calls to help my twins with their kindergarten lessons or ensure they’re logged into their Google Meets with their “bosses”—their teachers.
A 2015 report from CNN Money revealed that women worked an average of 7 hours and 49 minutes while spending just 7 hours and 56 minutes sleeping. Now, we’re working from home, sleeping upstairs while working downstairs, making it all too easy to extend our work hours into the evenings or respond to emails while enjoying the latest Netflix hit. But you know what else is easy? Choosing not to overextend ourselves. It’s entirely possible to shut the laptop, silence my phone, and leave that one email unanswered until work hours resume. We have the power to create a work/life balance that we fully control.
Prioritizing Time Off
When Friday rolls around, I prioritize turning off, almost to the point of deleting my Google app from my phone. I don’t check emails after 5 p.m. or over the weekend. Given my role, I remain available for urgent calls, though they are rare throughout the year.
I don’t feel like I’m missing out on any crucial work emails by clocking out on Friday and not logging back in until Monday morning. What I gain is immeasurable compared to the fleeting distraction of my phone screen. I reclaim my time, whether that means enjoying a glass of wine at 5:01 p.m., binge-watching a show, or attending virtual church on Sunday. I’ve listened to the call to reclaim my time, just like Representative Maxine Waters advocated, and I’m taking back moments that were lost.
I genuinely value my role on the team at the nonprofit where I work. I appreciate the opportunity to impact lives and recognize the privilege of having a job during these challenging times. But the pandemic has tested my mental health, resilience, and relationships. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned through all of this is that I refuse to apologize for prioritizing myself.
The Challenge of Guilt
Being a mom is incredibly challenging. We often put our kids first, and the idea of putting ourselves at the forefront can feel daunting. However, COVID-19 has allowed me to embrace this shift without guilt. My emotional and mental well-being depend on maintaining healthy boundaries for my work and home life, and these boundaries are essential for my family’s stability.
Let’s be honest: guilt is a relentless beast. I sometimes feel guilty for rescheduling a work meeting because my kids’ teachers changed their Google Meet times or for declining a work call to be present for my children. But at that moment, I needed to be there. I can’t be everything for everyone—being the top performer at work, the mom who bakes from scratch every week, and the partner who prepares dinners every night is simply unrealistic.
I am placing myself back at the center, establishing boundaries by disconnecting at the end of the workday, and not allowing work to intrude on family time. This is my reality, and while we hope the pandemic will fade into memory, the boundaries I’ve established will remain. I’ve learned to confidently communicate my limits, reschedule meetings, and assertively express when I cannot meet a deadline. This newfound empowerment has also taught my children that balance is achievable, but only when we make a conscious effort to tip the scales in our favor.
Further Reading
For more insights on this topic, visit one of our other blog posts, which discusses the importance of maintaining work-life balance during challenging times. If you’re interested in exploring fertility options, you can check out this excellent resource on infertility.
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- How to manage working mom burnout
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- Importance of self-care for working moms
Summary:
The article discusses the challenges of working mom burnout, especially during the pandemic. It emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries to maintain mental health and work-life balance. The author reflects on the lessons learned from the experience, highlighting the need to prioritize personal well-being without feeling guilty. Establishing boundaries has empowered the author and shown their children that balance is achievable.
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