The other night, my son texted me after his shift ended. He mentioned he would grab some gas and a quick bite before heading home. As I settled into bed, I fought off sleep, anxiously awaiting his arrival.
After going through my nighttime routine, I realized he was taking longer than expected. With a mere 12-minute drive ahead of him, I felt a wave of concern wash over me. I called him, but there was no answer, so I texted him, urging him to call me back. Silence.
Suddenly, my mind began racing. What if he was chatting with a friend? Maybe he had to work late and forgot to keep me posted. Or worse, what if something terrible had happened?
These thoughts often plague a mother’s mind, and as a single mom, I faced them alone. There was no partner beside me to share the burden or calm my worries, saying, “I’ll handle this; you stay here with the other kids.” Instead, I was left to grapple with my fears in isolation.
Moments later, I received a text: “Mom, I got pulled over for speeding. I’ll be home in five.” Relieved, I prepared myself to greet him with a measured response—stern enough to emphasize my concern, yet calm enough not to wake his siblings.
As a single mother of teens, I often find myself juggling responsibilities typically shared in a two-parent household. When unexpected issues arise—like learning your teenager is experimenting with substances or dealing with heartbreak—there’s no one to step in and help navigate those turbulent moments.
Even when co-parenting is amicable, raising teenagers can feel overwhelmingly isolating. While I can reach out to my ex for support, handling situations alone often feels like an uphill battle. Emergencies don’t come with a warning; they demand immediate attention.
When a teenager is in crisis—be it partying too hard or facing emotional turmoil—there’s no time to pause and ponder your feelings. You have to act. With no partner to share the emotional load, it’s all on you.
The demands of parenting don’t take breaks. Finding your child intoxicated or witnessing their emotional breakdown leaves no room for hesitation. Teenagers require swift support, and their issues can be more complex than those of younger children.
As their mother, I want to do right by my kids. I strive to manage everything, but the weight of this responsibility can be exhausting. Single motherhood means shouldering these challenges without the second opinion of a trusted partner—someone who shares your desire for everything to be okay.
Even when there’s a supportive co-parent, it can be draining to ensure constant communication about what’s happening when the kids are in your care. Misalignments in parenting styles can further complicate matters, leaving you to navigate these challenges mostly on your own.
To all the single mothers of teens out there, know that you are the true MVPs, especially as we face continued challenges from the pandemic while keeping our families safe. Don’t doubt your abilities or feel inadequate; parenting through these times is incredibly tough. While my kids are worth every ounce of effort, acknowledging the challenges is essential.
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