“Emily…your test is positive.”
Those words struck me like a lightning bolt. What? How could this be? And why was my family testing negative? My daughter burst into tears, my son fell silent, and my husband tried to reassure me, insisting it must be a false positive. I was left to grapple with this shocking news.
My thoughts spiraled. Could it be real? Deep down, I knew it was likely true. Earlier that morning, I had noticed a headache creeping in, but I had also sipped my coffee later than usual. The day before, I felt a bit achy, but we’d just bought a new mattress, and I often feel sore after sleeping on one. Then there was my dog, who seemed unwell—could he have COVID? Do dogs even catch it? Oh no, my son had climbed into bed with me last night! But he tested negative… for now! How did I possibly contract COVID? Had I let my guard down? Why was this happening to us? To me?
I’ve always been a rule follower. Since the pandemic began in March 2020, I prepared for a quarantine with my family. I assigned my kids to disinfect doorknobs and handles each day, washed everything I could, and bought reusable masks for everyone. I stocked up on Tylenol, a pulse oximeter, several boxes of Cold-Eze (because zinc is said to help fight viruses), Gatorade, tissues, and a thermometer in case anyone got sick. From March to June, we hardly left the house, except for masked walks in the neighborhood. We relaxed a bit over the summer and fall as cases declined, socializing outdoors in small groups. My kids have been in virtual school since March. We’ve celebrated major holidays alone.
Professionally, I’m also a rule enforcer. I manage student life at a university, including Student Health Services. For the past ten months, I’ve been directly involved in our institution’s COVID response, developing policies for compliance and isolating ill students. I oversee the mandatory weekly testing for students, faculty, and staff.
Since I’ve been working from home, I hadn’t been tested for COVID until now, as I was traveling to our home in Massachusetts for a 10-day winter break. My husband and I packed the car with supplies, kids, and our dog, stopping at a drive-through testing site on the way up North. That’s when I received the news of my positive result.
As we turned the car around—masks securely in place, windows wide open, and my daughter sobbing in the back—my husband and I tried to figure out how this could have happened. If I was positive, why wasn’t he? We had spent the last four days together. It was puzzling. We even debated stopping for a PCR test to confirm the rapid result, thinking it might be a false positive.
I called Sarah, the Director of Student Health Services, to share the news and seek guidance. Sarah and I have spoken countless times since March, battling this virus on campus together. Her reaction was immediate shock, but she quickly shifted to her professional role, firing off questions to assess my situation and help with contact tracing. Yes, she mentioned, it could be a false positive, but it might not be. Regardless, according to the Department of Health, I had COVID.
During the drive home, I texted my closest friends and family to inform them of my status and assure them I felt fine. Upon arriving home, I grabbed my favorite snacks and retreated to the guest room.
Sinking onto the bed, I allowed myself a long, hard cry.
I have been working 14-16 hour days, including weekends, since March 2020. My job is already high-stress, but these past months have been overwhelming. On top of that, I have two young children and a new puppy, while my husband is required to work in person, leaving me to manage the kids, puppy, and household.
I am utterly burnt out. This winter break was supposed to be my first chance to truly relax in nearly a year.
I’m not sure if I cried because my much-needed vacation time was now confined to a guest room, or because my kids were scared, or because I felt guilty about ruining the break for everyone. I’m usually a very optimistic person, but for the first time in ages, I felt defeated. I had no control over this situation. I couldn’t fix it.
The first night, I found myself obsessively googling COVID-related questions, trying to understand what the next ten days would entail. I opened the pulse oximeter and learned how to use it. I ingested Cold-Eze like clockwork, taking my temperature no fewer than nine times that night.
As the days passed, I felt incredibly fortunate to remain asymptomatic. Aside from the mental toll of being an extrovert isolated for ten days, I was one of the lucky ones (so far). Each morning, I woke up grateful to be alive and healthy, which forced me to appreciate life.
I’m reflecting deeply on the notion that my body and mind needed this break. I’ve faced numerous challenges this year (who hasn’t?), and maybe it’s time to take a step back. As I write this, my 10-year-old daughter is baking me s’mores cupcakes. Yes, I needed this.
Will my home resemble a disaster zone when I finally leave the guest room? Absolutely. Will I obsessively clean for the next ten days post-isolation? You bet. Will I burst out of this room like Maria in “The Sound of Music”? Of course. Will I cherish my husband, kids, and puppy even more after this? Definitely.
I’m uncertain what the lesson is here. I’m a rule follower who has adhered to all the guidelines. I can’t comprehend how I ended up in this situation. I hope those reading this are also following the rules, but remember, none of us are immune…yet. This virus can sneak up on anyone.
When you have the opportunity, I encourage you to get vaccinated. You may not be as fortunate as I am.
Here’s to a much better 2021, filled with vaccines and countless hugs.
For more insights on related topics, check out this post on home insemination and visit Make A Mom for essential resources. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, Women’s Health provides excellent guidance.
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Summary:
Emily Thompson shares her shocking experience of testing positive for COVID-19 despite being a strict rule follower. She reflects on her diligent precautions during the pandemic, her emotional response to the diagnosis, and the unexpected isolation during her winter break. Despite the challenges, she finds gratitude in her health and the importance of appreciating life.
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