Hey there, parents! You are doing an amazing job—likely much better than you realize. Parenting is a challenging journey, but chances are you’re hitting the mark. Acknowledge the effort you put in every day.
I’m not exactly the parent I thought I’d be. I don’t consider myself a bad parent; in fact, I believe I’m doing great. I love my kids with all my heart. Each evening, they hear me express my love for them, share my pride, and tell them how much I look forward to seeing them in the morning.
Initially, I imagined myself as one of those parents who never falls behind on chores, never raises their voice, and certainly never swears under their breath. For a while, I was that parent—at least with my first child.
But parenting evolves. Kids grow, and now I have three of them. Life happens, and sometimes I find myself in the bathroom surrounded by discarded clothes and wet towels, exclaiming, “Why doesn’t anyone in this house understand that the hamper is just ONE FOOT AWAY?” It happens to me occasionally.
Then there’s our home. We purchased our house three years ago. It wasn’t a fixer-upper by any means; it was clean and livable. However, it’s not our dream home, so we’ve gradually worked on projects to personalize it. While I appreciate our safe and warm abode, I wouldn’t describe it as a showstopper. I wouldn’t say it’s “the best house in the whole world,” for instance.
If I had to sum up my family and home quickly, I’d say we’re a happy family, I’m an okay parent, and we’re fortunate to have a cozy, secure house, even if it doesn’t have the best curb appeal.
How My Child Sees Our Home
Now, let me share how my child perceives it. Just yesterday, while driving, my eight-year-old asked if I thought we would still live in this house when he grows up. I told him I wasn’t certain. We have no immediate plans to move, but someday we might want to. I asked why he was curious, expecting him to suggest features for our future home.
Instead, he said he wants to buy this house from its future owners when he has his first child. “I want my kids to know what it’s like to grow up in the best house in the whole world for kids.”
In that moment, my throat tightened, and tears welled in my eyes. I promised him that if we still reside here, I’d allow him to buy our home for his children. The tears flowed down my cheeks. Being a parent is tough, and this past year has been particularly strange. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear him say he feels happy until he expressed it.
While I see a modest house with its flaws, he sees “the best house in the whole world.” He’s been in plenty of homes I would consider “better.” Some of our close friends live in a ten-thousand-square-foot mansion, my father’s house has a large pool, and my son has visited homes with beach access. He’s watched shows about dream homes complete with indoor water slides and stables.
But to him, this little house is perfect—not because of its appearance but because of the love within it. He doesn’t see the beige vinyl siding I wish to replace, the muddy driveway that needs gravel, or the cracked concrete leading to the front porch. He doesn’t care that our DIY kitchen remodel is a work in progress or that much of our furniture is second-hand.
Here, he feels cherished. Yes, this is where I sometimes raise my voice about wet towels and fruit snack wrappers. My kids still have to empty the dishwasher, tidy their toys, and take showers even when they think they’re clean.
Yet, it’s also where I taught them to make Italian cookies, just as my grandmother taught me. This is where my boys run around in their underpants with capes, fighting imaginary villains without hesitation. Our yard is where they discovered the thrill of water balloons bursting on hot summer days. In this home, they’re free to cry when they’re sad or disappointed without worrying about being called “babyish.” There’s no place like my big, cozy bed and open arms when they feel sick, cold, or lonely in the middle of the night.
Finding Joy in the Chaos
I bet you have similar stories. This is how parenting often unfolds, right? You spend most of your time questioning whether you’re doing it right. No matter how hard you try, you wonder if the magic you’re trying to create is evident. Every night, you promise to be less shouty and more patient the next day. You might feel like a hyperactive pigeon trying to keep things in order, yet at the end of the day, you still see a multitude of things needing attention.
Your kids’ jeans are usually stained with mud, you notice a thick layer of dust before guests arrive, and you think it’s time to shave your legs again. There are endless things you wish you could improve. Each day presents a new chance to critique something.
But your children don’t see any of that. Occasionally, they remind you of everything you’re doing just right. They don’t know the worries that keep you awake at night; they show you how you’re succeeding.
Countless small, beautiful moments we create as parents accumulate in ways we can’t fully comprehend, ensuring our children feel safe and loved.
Every time we cheer for them when they jump out of school. Each bandage or gentle kiss on a scraped knee. Every story we read, picture we color, or video game we play together. At-home movie nights with popcorn and cozy blankets. The thoughtful way we choose gifts that reflect their interests. Even the way we guide them back when they test boundaries.
Everything we do communicates our desire for them to thrive. I felt incredibly lucky when my son called our house the ideal place to grow up. But he was mistaken. Our house isn’t the best for kids; it’s the best for MY kids because here is where their love resides.
I’m sure if you ask, your children feel the same. They will likely tell you that your home—whether it’s a grand estate or a cozy abode by a muddy pasture—is the best house in the world for kids.
Reflecting on Our Parenting Journey
I understand that hearing how well you’re doing won’t pay the bills or make parenting any less daunting. It won’t erase past trauma or simplify co-parenting. But it’s crucial for every parent to reflect on and appreciate the ways they’re getting it right. Creating a loving environment where children can express their true selves transforms any house into “the best house in the world for kids.”
For more insights, check out this post on home insemination.
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In summary, parenting doesn’t require perfection; it requires love and presence. The small moments of affection, support, and joy create a nurturing environment that children cherish. A house becomes a home filled with love, making it the best place for kids to grow up.
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