A friend of mine is panicking because her five-year-old isn’t reading yet. “He’s just one of those slow readers,” she lamented. I wanted to reach out and comfort her. “Hey,” I said, “I had to teach my youngest son to read three times before it finally clicked.” Her expression shifted to surprise.
“Is there any learning difficulty?” I asked. “Is his teacher worried?” She shook her head. “But he’s at the bottom of his class!” I shrugged. “So what? Kids who are at the bottom may just learn at a different pace or need a little extra help. They’ll learn when they’re ready. Just support him where he is for now.” I sighed. “We need to move beyond labeling kids as slow readers.”
Our Kindergarten Expectations
In kindergarten, we were surrounded by letters of the alphabet, each paired with fun characters. We sang catchy tunes about each letter on a tinny tape player. Not every child knew their letters yet (I did, thanks to my mom and educational shows!), and most were still learning to spell their names. We were not slow readers; we were just kids developing at our own pace. Once we could recognize our names on a bulletin board, we were rewarded with candy.
I remember struggling with simple sentences by the end of kindergarten. “What” always confused me since it didn’t rhyme with “cat.” I misspelled “while” as “why’ll.” Teachers were there during writing time to assist us, which explains my quirky use of “daffodils” in a poem.
By first grade? It was all about Dick & Jane. I can assure you that I eventually learned to read and write. I was considered “on track.”
Today’s Definition of “On Track”
These days, kids are expected to know some letters of the alphabet and recognize common sight words by the time they start kindergarten, according to Scholastic. By the end of kindergarten, children should recognize common vowel combinations and around 70% of high-frequency words. These expectations were aligned with my abilities back then.
I was placed in the gifted program a year later and joined the top reading group in my first-grade class. In other words, my experiences didn’t reflect most of my classmates. This doesn’t mean I deserved a top achiever title; it highlights how educational standards have changed. “Gifted” kids in the past are simply “on track” today, while those who were “on track” back then are now labeled as behind.
Our Standards Are Flawed
We’ve significantly altered our expectations for kindergarten. According to NPR, by 2010, 80% of teachers believed children should learn to read in kindergarten, a dramatic jump from just 31% in 1998. Many kids were being tested before even starting school.
The push for early reading skills often overlooks the disparities in preschool quality. Studies show that while Black and white children attend preschool at similar rates, the quality of education can differ greatly. Expecting certain preschool preparation and labeling kids who don’t meet those standards as “slow readers” is problematic. When children are categorized and pushed to read at the same level as their peers, they often fall behind.
Reading Readiness Can Vary
My husband and I both have advanced degrees in English, and our home is filled with books. We recognize our privilege. I began teaching my youngest son to read when he turned five. He struggled and resisted, and it wasn’t until he was six and a half that he learned happily. Now at nine, he reads advanced texts with ease.
I reassured my friend that her son isn’t ready yet. He’s fortunate to have an English teacher as a mom, and when he’s ready, she can guide him. Not all children have that advantage.
When to Seek Help
Many kids simply aren’t ready to read yet. However, if you have genuine concerns, it might be worth having a professional evaluate your child. I had my own concerns when my son struggled to grasp reading. Eventually, we discovered he needed support for ADHD.
Extra assistance may be necessary for various reasons; some children might have learning disabilities, issues like dyslexia, or even vision problems. If you’ve set aside worries about keeping up with peers but still feel uneasy, consulting an expert can be beneficial.
Adjusting Our Expectations
Not ready to read by five or six? Your child doesn’t need more worksheets or tutors; they need time to explore and play. Most will learn when they’re cognitively and emotionally prepared. Reading shouldn’t be a source of stress.
What matters more: your child’s emotional health or their reading skills? There’s a distinction between laziness and genuine emotional distress. So, take a breath. Give your child space. They’ll read when they’re ready, and when they are, help them find books they love. Don’t get caught up in what’s considered age-appropriate; children can enjoy reading picture books or novels at any age.
If you have concerns, or if their teacher does, don’t hesitate to seek an outside opinion. Just remember: don’t label them as “slow readers.” It’s an outdated and unhelpful term. Everything will work out in the end.
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Summary:
It’s common for parents to worry if their five-year-old isn’t reading yet, but it’s crucial to understand that every child develops at their own pace. Rather than labeling children as “slow readers,” we should support their individual learning journeys. Expectations for reading readiness have changed significantly over time, and early struggles don’t indicate failure. If concerns persist, seeking professional guidance can help, but it’s essential to prioritize emotional well-being over academic pressure.

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