As a pediatrician, I’ve witnessed countless children receive their booster shots before heading off to kindergarten. Each child reacts differently based on their personality. My daughter cried out for a wheelchair after her appointment, while my son, with tears in his eyes, expressed, “you shouldn’t have let her do that to me.” Meanwhile, my other son stormed out, shouting, “I didn’t like that!” Regardless of their reactions, each child walks away with a band-aid, a small token of their experience and, from my perspective, a shield of protection.
This week, I received my first COVID vaccine. As I approached the entrance, I was met by hospital staff who have tirelessly dedicated themselves to this pandemic. They cheered, clapped, and adorned holiday hats, while balloons decorated the space, and Johnny Mathis’s voice filled the air with “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”
I was not prepared for the rush of emotions that hit me as I entered to receive my vaccine, yet tears streamed down my face. After getting my shot and a vibrant yellow band-aid, I sat down to wait for my observation period, still overwhelmed and searching for understanding as to why I was crying.
In the medical profession, we’re trained to maintain composure during emergencies, learning to set aside our feelings to focus on the next patient. But after ten months of constant pressure, it can be overwhelming. We’ve seen our colleagues urge the public to take the pandemic seriously as hospitals fill to capacity. There have been nurses who, after caring for numerous dying patients, find themselves unable to hold back their tears.
One of my colleagues also shed tears after her COVID vaccination, expressing how a weight was lifted, realizing the extent of stress we’ve all been under.
Leaving with my yellow band-aid, I felt a kinship with my fellow healthcare workers, all adorned with similar symbols of resilience. The next day, I hesitated to remove my band-aid. It represented our struggles, the relief of being vaccinated, and a glimmer of hope that the pandemic may soon come to an end.
Earlier this spring, my partner and I listened to Dr. Fauci speak, feeling a wave of emotion wash over us. Despite the division and misinformation in the world, listening to a knowledgeable physician reminded us that there are still brilliant individuals striving to make things right.
My tears were a blend of grief for those who have tragically lost their lives to COVID-19 and deep gratitude for the goodness that persists. I felt thankful for the staff at my hospital who celebrated our vaccinations; it felt like a pivotal moment in our fight against the pandemic. I also expressed gratitude for the scientists who developed the vaccine in record time and the many essential workers who have kept our country afloat during these trying times.
Yes, I cried when I got my COVID vaccine. Like a child in my office, my band-aid symbolized so much more than just a shot. Instead of tears of fear and frustration, mine were tears of relief, gratitude, and respect for everyone who wakes up daily to fulfill their responsibilities. My band-aid stands as a promise of protection against COVID for myself and my loved ones. Perhaps next year, the isolation and fear will finally begin to fade away.
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Summary:
Receiving my COVID vaccine stirred unexpected emotions, reminiscent of the childhood experiences I witness as a pediatrician. The celebration at the vaccination site, combined with the weight of the past year, culminated in tears of gratitude and relief. My band-aid became a symbol of hope, reflecting the struggles of both healthcare workers and the community at large.
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