In this advice column, our team provides insights on various topics including parenting, friendships, and navigating life’s challenges.
This week’s dilemma
How should you approach playdates during the pandemic when your mom friends won’t enforce mask-wearing for their kids around yours?
Dear Advice Team,
I have a close-knit group of mom friends I’ve known since our children started daycare together five years ago. We’ve shared countless experiences and formed strong bonds. However, the pandemic has tested our friendships. My friends are completely comfortable with indoor playdates (even though they don’t have a secure “bubble” as they claim), while I’m only okay with it if everyone wears masks and we maintain distance. They give me a hard time about it, as if I’m suggesting they’re being irresponsible or unclean. They seem genuinely offended. I’ve been proposing outdoor activities since the winter has been relatively mild, but they’re even more dismissive about masks because they believe being outside means there’s no risk. This situation is causing me significant stress, and I’m unsure how to address it with them.
The past year has certainly opened our eyes to many truths about ourselves and our relationships. It’s often difficult to accept these realizations, especially when they point to uncomfortable truths. I understand your friends’ reactions can be frustrating; wearing masks is a straightforward way to protect ourselves and others. While masks aren’t a foolproof solution, they certainly help minimize risk during necessary interactions.
Many people have become defensive about their choices during the pandemic, which indicates uncertainty about those decisions. It’s been challenging for everyone to weigh risks against benefits, as we’ve never faced anything like this before. However, it’s disappointing to see a lack of willingness to have their kids wear masks to safely socialize.
You could say, “I understand your perspective, but I want little Jamie to enjoy playtime with friends, and the safest way to do that is for everyone to wear masks.” If they can wear masks to the grocery store and school, they can certainly wear them while playing outside. If your friends are unwilling to compromise and continue to criticize you, it may be time to seek out support and friendship elsewhere.
It’s a tough situation, but you’re approaching this with the right mindset.
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Possible search queries
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Summary
Navigating friendships during the pandemic can be challenging, especially when it comes to differing opinions on safety measures like mask-wearing. If your friends are resistant to your preferences for safe playdates, consider having an open conversation about your concerns or seeking new friendships that align better with your values.
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