My partner and I express our affection for each other quite openly. Rarely does a day go by without at least one playful touch. After nearly two decades together, our attraction remains strong, and I see no reason to conceal this from our children.
Let’s face it: maintaining intimacy can be particularly challenging once kids enter the picture. The time and energy once dedicated to your spouse often dwindle, leading many couples to experience a decline in their physical relationship. Therefore, my partner and I are committed to nurturing the sparks of our pre-children connection.
We share spontaneous hugs, lingering kisses, and cozy moments on the couch. However, we also sneak in playful grabs and gentle brushes against each other when we think the kids aren’t watching. While we aren’t engaging in anything overtly intimate, these casual gestures occur during ordinary activities like cooking, cleaning, or laundry. Who could resist a quick squeeze when their partner is washing dishes?
To us, these touches represent a fun and loving way to stay connected. They are like little bites of affection throughout the day, keeping us excited for the more intimate moments later on. And just to clarify, we certainly don’t have sex every night, so let’s not jump to conclusions.
Interestingly, a quick search shows that not everyone feels the way I do about public displays of affection, especially in front of children. The term “groping” might not evoke the most romantic images, and I understand that it may not appeal to everyone. Every relationship has its own unique dynamics—what works for my marriage might not work for yours. Some may find public affection uncomfortable or even off-putting. But I believe most couples desire some level of physical connection.
After 20 years, four kids, and a myriad of life’s challenges, I find it reassuring that we still can’t keep our hands off each other. A little playful touching serves as a reminder that my partner still finds me attractive. The day he stops would certainly raise concerns for me.
Of course, we also have our share of disagreements that our kids witness. They need to understand that it’s possible to love someone deeply while also finding them annoying at times. You can argue one moment and share a kiss the next—that’s the reality of love.
I want my kids to distinguish between the unrealistic grand gestures often depicted in movies and the genuine affection that fills day-to-day life. While our romance may not be characterized by grand displays, it is very much alive in the routine of parenting, working, and managing a household. Sometimes, a playful touch is all it takes to remind my partner that I still see him as desirable.
I want my children to witness the ebb and flow of a healthy relationship. While we aren’t engaging in overly intimate behavior in front of them, I believe there’s nothing wrong with them seeing us being affectionate and respecting each other—even during disagreements. It’s crucial for them to observe all aspects of our relationship.
Whether or not you agree with showing affection in front of your kids, we can all acknowledge the importance of modeling a loving relationship. Children deserve to grow up in an environment where their parents express their love and care for one another. Each relationship will define its own version of this, and I hope we can all respect that.
While you might not share my views on playfully touching my partner, I appreciate the freedom to express our affection openly.
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In summary, my partner and I believe that showing affection, even in front of our kids, is a healthy way to model love and intimacy. Our playful touches serve as reminders of our connection, allowing our children to witness the realities of a loving partnership.
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