Around Halloween, I found myself weighing about 220 lbs, fitting into a size 2x. I had no idea that the Lithium I was taking for my bipolar disorder had a side effect of weight gain. Unfortunately, I had also reached the brink of being borderline diabetic, and my skin was breaking out like a teenager’s. After switching medications, I began to lose weight almost effortlessly. This was a shocking change for someone who had tried every diet and exercise plan without success; it was exhilarating.
I was on multiple medications, some of which suppressed my appetite. Gradually, I discovered that if I simply didn’t eat, my weight loss became even more pronounced. At first, I replaced meals with drinks while my kids had lunch, and then I began skipping breakfast. Eventually, dinner was often skipped too. I could go a full day without food, then two, and sometimes even three, as long as I managed to eat just enough to avoid fainting. I was aware of my blood sugar limits.
No One Asked Questions
The weight fell off quickly—over 13.5 lbs a month. By June 1st, I had halved my body weight from 220 lbs to 110 lbs. I could wear clothes from before having my three kids, and even fit into some of my college outfits. I was at the same weight I was in high school, although my post-baby belly remained.
Around March, as the numbers on the scale dropped to around 150 or 160 lbs, I started receiving compliments. “You look amazing!” friends would say. I would respond with a forced smile, thinking, if only you knew what I was doing to achieve this. Deep down, I recognized my eating habits were disordered, but I wasn’t yet ready to confront that reality.
Men would stumble over their words, unsure how to compliment me. “You look, uh, really good,” one said, smiling nervously. I merely blinked and smiled, hiding my internal struggle.
No One Made Connections
I tried to dye my hair, but it fell out due to nutrient deficiencies from my lack of eating. I ended up with bald patches and resorted to wigs, which thankfully were acceptable in the South. Friends of my mother praised me for my drastic weight loss. During a drive, one of them remarked, “I wonder if your hair loss is related to your rapid weight loss.”
“Maybe,” I answered, almost indifferent. Hair loss is a common symptom of anorexia, yet everyone continued to compliment me on how great I looked, oblivious to the underlying issues. When going out with them, I would eat only a salad, skipping any substantial meals for the day.
My husband referred to my behavior as “intermittent fasting,” a trendy term that he thought justified my actions. I was unknowingly participating in this practice, as long as I ate dinner.
Only One Person Expressed Concern
The only individual who noticed my weight loss was my friend Sophie. After seeing a picture of me in mid-May, she texted, “Are you okay? You’ve lost a lot of weight.” Sophie is the kind of friend who genuinely cares, and her message made me emotional. I realized that someone had actually seen beyond the surface. Later that year, my mother-in-law expressed her worries, and when my bosses at work noticed my weight loss, they asked if I needed time off. Their concern genuinely touched me.
My psychiatrist eventually addressed the issue, but I had to be the one to open up about my condition. My male general practitioner started to congratulate me before I interrupted him.
My Weight Loss Was Labeled “Atypical Anorexia”
The term “atypical anorexia” is misleading; anorexia can affect anyone, regardless of age or weight. Just as a person can maintain a healthy lifestyle at a size two, a person can also starve themselves while weighing 2x. Both underweight individuals and those who are overweight deserve compassion and support. Misconceptions about atypical anorexia are widespread, but the diagnosis hinges on unhealthy eating patterns, not weight.
Culturally, we equate thinness with virtue, viewing heavier individuals as lacking self-control. Thus, when my weight loss accelerated, I was seen as a moral success. People congratulated me, not realizing that their words masked my serious health crisis. This is why we should refrain from commenting on others’ bodies. Instead of congratulating someone on weight loss, it’s more compassionate to ask, “Are you okay?”
Conclusion
If someone is losing weight, it’s crucial not to assume it’s intentional. Rather than saying “Congratulations,” try, “I hope you’re happy and healthy.” If you notice drastic weight loss, your first response should echo my friend Sophie’s: “Are you okay?” This approach is the only appropriate way to respond to significant weight changes. We do not have the right to comment on others’ bodies, as societal fatphobia can have dire consequences. Acknowledge that your perceptions could impact someone’s life significantly.
I am grateful to those who recognized my struggles and voiced their concerns. I don’t blame those who didn’t; the societal narrative has shaped perceptions. I encourage everyone to challenge their biases regarding body image and to approach friends with care and compassion.
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Probable Search Queries:
- Signs of an eating disorder
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Summary: In this personal account, the author reflects on her dramatic weight loss journey, which was fueled by an eating disorder rather than healthy choices. Despite receiving compliments and congratulations from friends and family, she struggled internally with the consequences of her actions. The narrative emphasizes the need for sensitivity and care when discussing weight loss, advocating for questions of well-being over superficial praise.
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