My home is a whirlwind of attitude, fluctuating emotions, and too many individuals thinking they’re the boss. Rebellion seems to seep into every corner, and the moment you step inside, you can feel the tension in the air. Just the other day, I confiscated my youngest son’s phone simply because he was arguing with everything I said, seemingly just for the sake of it.
It didn’t matter if I was recounting a childhood memory or sharing his birthday details—he found a way to twist it to prove me wrong.
If you’ve ever spotted a mom driving with a straight face while her teenager in the passenger seat looks like they’d do anything for a time machine to escape, you’ve probably wondered why she tolerates it or why that kid is acting out. Or maybe you’re the one in that car, painfully aware that no matter how much love you give, it feels like they’ve coated themselves in “mom repellent.”
If you’re a mother of teenagers and feel like everyone is judging you, convinced that their teen will never act out like yours, and you’re on the brink because you’ve simply had enough, I understand.
We are devoted mothers doing our absolute best. It’s easy for outsiders, who aren’t currently navigating the teenage years, to criticize and highlight all our perceived shortcomings, but they don’t truly grasp the reality.
I’ve reset the WiFi password more times than I can count. I’ve taken away phones for weeks on end, discovered substances hidden in their rooms, caught them lying, and even had to drag my son—who is now taller than me—into the car after he thought he could sneak out during lockdown.
I’ve gone to great lengths during this pandemic, standing in front of his car to prevent him from leaving after I told him he couldn’t go out. I’ve spent countless hours on the phone with teachers and tried my best to assist with daunting physics homework. I’ve comforted them through heartbreak, taught them the importance of empathy, cared for them through illnesses, and rushed out in my pajamas to pick one of them up after an accident.
One of my teens battled anxiety and depression, while another collects mold in his room because he refuses to bring dishes down after sneaking snacks.
Yet, amid the chaos, I’ve also witnessed beautiful moments of sibling bonding, times when they’ve paused their activities to lend a hand, and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride.
Teenagers are incredible, resilient beings, and I’m grateful for them. But, wow, they can be exhausting. At times, I feel so overwhelmed that I don’t know how to cope.
When they neglect their schoolwork, I could do it for them, but I refuse to. When they mess up, I could step in and fix it, but I won’t. When they disrespect me, I could ignore it, but that’s not an option. Instead, I choose to engage in this difficult journey and lose sleep along the way.
I’ll continue to show them love and communicate that they can choose to break the rules, but there will be consequences. What else can I do? I can’t follow them around or live their lives for them. I must find a way to let them take control while remembering that my role here is supportive.
But I’m exhausted. Some days, I wake up to an email about missing assignments, or I see a towel on the floor, and I feel like I’ve hit my limit. Days when I glance at the overflowing trash after reminding them to take it out five times, and I think I can’t take another thing.
Teenagers are unique beings with their own minds, often unwilling to abide by rules. Balancing their need to face the consequences of their choices while ensuring their safety is a challenging dance that drains me and never allows me to fully relax.
To all the moms of teenagers, I see you. I understand how tough this can be, and just because your kids are making decisions you don’t agree with right now, it doesn’t mean you’re failing or that they won’t find their way. All we can do is navigate the next moment, hour, or day together.
So, please, promise me you’ll be kind to yourself and acknowledge that the teenage years are truly the trenches of parenting. We are in this fight together, side by side.
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In summary, parenting teenagers is an exhausting yet rewarding journey. Despite the challenges, it’s essential to recognize that every struggle is part of their growth process. As mothers, we must support them while also taking care of ourselves during these trying years.
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