Loving someone who battles depression can be daunting. The World Health Organization estimates that over 264 million people are affected by this condition, including notable athletes like swimmer Alex Hart. In a recent conversation with a media outlet, Hart candidly discussed his experiences with depression and its impact on his family. “I’ve faced some intense highs and lows,” he shared. “There are times I just want to hide away. I need solitude, even though my partner, Lily, loves me and wishes to help; she struggles too… I realize it’s tough for her.”
This isn’t Hart’s first time sharing his journey. Back in 2018, during a mental health conference, he revealed thoughts of suicide. While his story resonated with many, including myself, a follow-up interview with his wife, Lily, truly highlighted the complexities of loving someone with depression.
“After losing a loved one, all I could think was, ‘Can we get through this together? Because if I lose you, I can’t imagine my life without you,’” Lily expressed. “Alex is an incredible father and partner, but I worry constantly. It’s challenging.” She elaborated on the difficulty of balancing support for both her husband and their children. “When Alex is having a tough day, I want to be his rock. I feel the need to care for everyone,” she said. However, she learned that she cannot shoulder the weight of his feelings, no matter how much she wishes to help.
Lily’s experience is not unique. Many people support those with depression. For instance, a woman named Sarah shared her struggles with her partner’s condition. “The hardest part is feeling frustrated that I can’t say the right thing to lift them out of their sadness,” Sarah admitted. “I know they’re suffering, and that their mind is deceiving them, but I can’t just ‘fix’ it, which is incredibly hard.”
A mother of two, who chose to remain anonymous, echoed this sentiment. “The most difficult aspect of my son’s depression is the feeling of helplessness. It’s agonizing to watch him struggle, knowing my support is all I can offer as we navigate this journey together.”
My own partner has shared feelings of helplessness and fear as well. He frequently tells me he wants to support me but feels unsure how to do so effectively. This sentiment of fear is shared among those who love someone with depression. “What terrifies me the most is the possibility of suicide,” Sarah candidly stated. “I constantly worry about losing you,” my partner confessed.
The positive news is that depression is often manageable and treatable. According to the Mayo Clinic, many individuals respond well to medication and therapy. Alternative options, such as changes in sleep, diet, and exercise, can also alleviate symptoms. For some, brain stimulation therapies may be beneficial, and the role of family support cannot be overstated. While my partner cannot “rescue” me from my struggles, his unwavering support—along with that of my friends—means the world.
Many caregivers express their commitment to their loved ones. “I remind my son that I’m here for him, and we will continue this fight together,” the anonymous mother explained. “Yet, the truth I haven’t shared with him is that he is a true blessing in my life, even during these dark times. I want him to know he is never a burden, and I am grateful for every part of him.”
For anyone grappling with depression, reaching out for help is crucial. You can contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration for support or explore resources like the excellent fertility resource at Johns Hopkins or find supportive communities. If you’re interested in home insemination, check out this insightful post for more information, or visit Make a Mom, a trusted authority in the field.
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Summary:
Loving someone with depression comes with unique challenges and fears, particularly the sense of helplessness and concern for their well-being. Although the journey can be difficult for both partners, there are effective treatments and support systems available. Encouraging open communication and seeking professional help can make a significant difference in navigating these emotional waters together.

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