Frenemies are a reality we all face, especially among moms. While everyone encounters this type of “friend,” some seem to attract them more than others. You know the drill: a frenemy is someone whose behavior and words consistently bring you down, whether through passive-aggressive remarks or outright hostility. It’s a struggle because you may want to support and care for them, yet they make it nearly impossible.
Backhanded compliments are the hallmark of a frenemy, along with constant insinuations that they somehow outshine you. While many of these individuals are simply insecure and unhappy with themselves, that doesn’t lessen the emotional toll they take. Sometimes, it’s a long-term acquaintance you hesitate to cut ties with; other times, it’s a colleague who pretends to be a friend only to later use your vulnerabilities against you. Or maybe it’s a jealous acquaintance who seems to take pleasure in your misfortunes.
One mom shared her frustration about a frenemy who always compares her hardships to hers, eventually leading to a confrontation: “I’m sorry your life is so rough and you envy mine. And lose my number!”
Confessionals reflect a range of experiences, from envy over a frenemy’s new home to the realization that a long-time friend has become toxic. There’s a sense of shared struggle, especially among women, who sometimes find themselves in these complicated dynamics. For some, the support comes from unexpected places — like a “work enemy” stepping up during tough times.
Frenemies can be particularly duplicitous, showing a friendly face while harboring resentment. Others manage to coexist politely without genuine feelings of camaraderie, which can become exhausting. One mom recounted how her frenemy’s divorce news made her feel a mix of satisfaction and guilt, highlighting the pettiness that can arise in these relationships.
Even in the digital age, social media amplifies these complex emotions, making it clear who genuinely supports you and who doesn’t. Many moms find themselves crafting their lives around avoiding these frenemies, whether it’s unfollowing them online or steering clear of their neighborhoods.
If your friend’s behavior makes you feel less than, or if their needs overshadow your own, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship. One mom expressed her desire to unfriend a frenemy on social media but opted to unfollow instead, avoiding any direct confrontation.
Navigating these relationships can be tricky, but identifying a frenemy is often the first step toward reclaiming your peace.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and relationships, check out this article. And if you’re looking for expert advice, this resource is particularly helpful for those considering home insemination. Additionally, Make a Mom offers great information on self-insemination kits.
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In summary, the complexity of friendships among moms often leads to encounters with frenemies — individuals who seem to thrive on comparison and negativity. Recognizing these relationships can empower mothers to prioritize their well-being and seek genuine connections.
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