You know how frustrating it can be to be around tipsy people when you’re the only sober one? That’s exactly what parenting feels like. If you’re not a parent, you may have lost all tolerance for the chaos that kids bring. But if you are a parent, you might find yourself staring at your little ones as if they are the intoxicated partygoers, while you play the role of the sober caretaker.
Though some parents indulge in a drink while watching their kids leap off furniture, I’m always the designated driver—sober for three and a half years now. My turbulent history with alcohol, marked by shame and dishonesty, taught me invaluable lessons that have prepared me for the wild ride of parenting. After a decade of playing rugby, I can confidently say that raising my kids feels exactly like living with those exuberant, often reckless rugby players.
The Constant Clamor
Both my children and rugby players can be boisterous, cheerful, and prone to singing at any given moment—until someone suddenly bursts into tears. Rugby is filled with anthems that range from campfire singalongs to songs laced with adult themes. Kids, on the other hand, have their own playlists courtesy of Alexa, which, come to think of it, also features some questionable lyrics. The music never stops, and as the volume rises with the excitement or chaos, all you can do is pause briefly to navigate the emotional whirlpool. Is it joy or despair? No matter the cause, the best remedy seems to be snacks and hydration until it’s bedtime and the music finally turns off.
The Wild Antics
I fondly recall many weekends spent perfecting my skills in games like Butt Quarters at local pubs. The premise is simple: team up, balance a quarter between your cheeks, and waddle to drop it into a pint. It’s a hilarious post-match challenge, but it also makes me reconsider how I enforce cleanliness with my children. One day at a playgroup, my toddler twins discovered some Goldfish crackers on the floor. While a fellow parent gasped at my decision to let them eat them after a quick inspection, I couldn’t help but think of the times rugby players drank from questionable sources. The Goldfish were fine, just like that $7 hotdog I once wiped clean and handed back to my child after it hit the ground.
The Messy Reality
Rugby taught me to be prepared for anything. My gear often included toilet paper and plastic bags, just in case nature called at inopportune moments. Nowadays, my diaper bag is stocked with wipes, but the urgent need for a bathroom still arises unexpectedly, and I always find a way to handle it. The lines between rugby players and children blur when it comes to bodily fluids—snot, blood, and other unmentionables are part of both worlds.
The Personalities
Managing a rugby team of 15-30 diverse personalities mirrored the challenges I face with my children. Some teammates thrived on criticism, while others crumbled at the slightest hint of disapproval. Similarly, each of my kids has their own unique needs and responses, and I’ve learned to adapt my approach, even if I haven’t mastered it yet. The difficult child doesn’t sit out in the penalty box, but she does get removed from games when her behavior crosses the line.
The Family Road Trips
Road trips with rugby teammates set the stage for family travels. No one is ever punctual, as forgotten items lead to delays. Snacks, drinks, and bathroom breaks create a never-ending cycle of stops. While rugby players might detour for liquor, my family stops for potty breaks and snacks. Disagreements over music are inevitable, and someone always dredges up past conflicts. Yet, despite the chaos and smells, as long as we arrive safely, the trip is a success.
I watched my kids engage in their own chaotic play, and it struck me how similar parenting is to those wild rugby days. If you’re intrigued by the parallels between sports and parenting, check out this other blog post on home insemination for more insights. For those looking into fertility, Make a Mom provides great resources on boosting fertility as well. And for a deeper understanding of pregnancy methods, this Wikipedia article is an excellent reference.
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In summary, living with kids can often feel akin to being surrounded by rowdy rugby players. The noise, chaos, and unpredictability are constants, but the journey is undeniably rewarding and full of unforgettable moments.
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