Seventy years ago, if you were a Catholic who got divorced, your church could declare that, despite God’s love for all, your divorce was a sin that condemned you to hell. They could excommunicate you from the congregation. My grandmother faced this reality when she left her abusive husband to protect herself and her three children. The church leader who delivered that devastating news likely believed he was upholding divine principles. He may have tried to soften the blow, but it broke my grandmother’s spirit, and she never returned to church.
Recently, I stumbled upon a Facebook post from a well-known Christian mom blogger who expressed that if any of her children were to come out as gay, she would love them but also feel compelled to share the “truth.” While she didn’t clarify what “the truth” was, it was clear she meant she’d tell her child that homosexuality is a sin — implying that if they acted on their feelings, they would risk eternal damnation.
This kind of discrimination — the “I love you, but you’re going to hell” mentality — is among the worst forms of bigotry. I’d prefer outright hatred over this contradictory message. Just say you find same-sex love repugnant and wish we didn’t exist. At least that would be honest. There’s clarity in that sentiment, free from the tangled confusion of conflicting emotions.
When you tell me you love me but follow it with a disclaimer about my love being sinful, I start to question the sincerity behind your kindness. Are you genuinely trying to be a good person, or are you merely seeking to earn your place in heaven? “You’re destined for hell, but I’m not, because although the Bible labels you a sinner, I still love you. Look how virtuous I am!” If your kindness feels like a transaction to impress Jesus by pointing out others’ sins, your heart isn’t in the right place.
Moreover, I question your understanding of the moral framework you claim to uphold. To assert that I’m condemned to eternal suffering for loving someone of the same gender is absurd. You truly believe that my love will result in me burning in hell for eternity, and yet you can deliver this news with a smile, claiming to love me?
This is the height of narcissism. While Christianity teaches that God is a mystery beyond our comprehension, it also acknowledges that He endowed us with intellect to question and analyze. What kind of person would create beings capable of recognizing hypocrisy and cruelty only to demand blind adherence to a book rife with contradictions?
The Bible contains numerous rules that people ignore daily. The latter part essentially says, “Just kidding, disregard most of the first half.” It addresses issues like spousal abuse and slavery as if they are acceptable societal norms. Historically, pro-slavery advocates used the same arguments as contemporary “love-you-but-you’re-a-sinner” individuals to justify their intolerance of LGBTQ+ individuals. Yet, we’ve discarded the pro-slavery rhetoric and the Catholic Church no longer excommunicates individuals for divorce. Christians have always selectively ignored parts of the scripture that don’t align with their beliefs.
Thus, it seems that anyone who clings to the biblical condemnation of homosexuality is making a conscious choice to do so. If you can pick and choose which biblical tenets to uphold, then your declaration of love mixed with disdain for my identity reveals a deliberate choice. You prefer that particular aspect of scripture.
But faith isn’t a buffet, and your commitment to telling your hypothetical gay child the “truth” is not love; it’s extreme arrogance and hypocrisy. My love for my partner is just as valid and worthy of respect as your faith in your deity. You don’t have the authority to dictate how God perceives individuals, and the Bible clearly states this multiple times.
In a universe as vast and miraculous as ours, you have the audacity to hinge eternity on such a trivial aspect of humanity. You genuinely believe that a loving God would support the hypocrisy of loving a person while simultaneously rejecting who they are at their core. You assume you know what matters most to God, and you’ve decided it’s who someone loves.
This is a staggering level of hubris.
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Summary:
The article critiques the harmful attitude of “I love you, but you’re going to hell,” particularly in the context of LGBTQ+ identities. It highlights the hypocrisy and arrogance inherent in claiming to love someone while condemning their very identity. The author argues that selective adherence to religious texts demonstrates a lack of genuine compassion and understanding, ultimately calling for a more honest and accepting approach to love.
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