Nicole Hockley’s son, Dylan, was a lively six-year-old with bright blue eyes, a melodic voice, and a laugh that could light up a room. He cherished his older brother, Jake, and spent hours playing Nintendo Wii with him. Dylan had a special fondness for The Gruffalo and was a boy of contrasts; he loved roller coasters but despised waiting in line, enjoyed lightning yet feared thunder—and he adored the moon.
Tragically, Dylan was killed on December 14, 2012, when a shooter opened fire at Sandy Hook Elementary School, claiming the lives of 20 children and six adults. A month after her son’s death, Hockley recalls, “After the fog, I had to do something.” Determined to prevent such a tragedy from occurring again, she co-founded Sandy Hook Promise, an organization initially focused on advocating for mandatory universal background checks for all gun owners.
However, Hockley’s initial policy efforts faced significant obstacles. She was warned that they were entering a highly divisive realm of political lobbying. Despite the claim that universal background checks were the “low-hanging fruit” with bipartisan support, the bill ultimately did not pass due to insufficient votes, leaving Hockley with a sense of defeat. Yet she recognized that sometimes, failure can ignite the drive for success.
During a pivotal meeting, an FBI representative described Sandy Hook as a “typical school shooting,” and Hockley nearly lost her composure upon hearing that the signs of potential violence exhibited by the shooter had been overlooked due to a lack of resources for recognizing such warnings. This moment inspired a shift in Sandy Hook Promise’s mission, turning their focus toward preventing violence through education. They aimed to teach individuals, especially children, how to identify warning signs and intervene before anyone resorted to violence.
“We made a conscious decision not to focus on guns, but more on upstream violence,” Hockley explains. Their initiatives address issues ranging from bullying and social isolation to self-harm and suicide, helping students support each other. While they primarily target sixth to twelfth graders, their programs begin in kindergarten.
Hockley emphasizes the importance of agreement over opposition. “You have to start with what we agree with,” she states. “If we start from a place of fighting, then we’re not really listening.” She believes public discussions can lead to a mutual understanding that gun safety is essential, not about taking guns away but ensuring responsible storage and access.
Sandy Hook Promise is about prioritizing child safety and preventing tragedies. Their programs, including the “Start with Hello” initiative, teach students to recognize signs of social isolation and reach out to others. Their “Say Something” program guides middle and high schoolers in identifying warning signs of distress in their peers and how to report concerns to trusted adults. All programs are free and available for schools and communities.
After years of advocacy, the political environment now appears more favorable for passing the universal background check bill, which has garnered significant support. Hockley urges the public to contact Congress and demand action, asserting that responsible gun ownership is crucial for safety.
Sandy Hook Promise has already received over 60,000 anonymous tips, helping protect approximately 240 children. Hockley remains steadfast in her mission to ensure that the tragedy she faced does not happen to another family.
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Summary:
Nicole Hockley turned her grief into action after losing her son in the Sandy Hook shooting, co-founding Sandy Hook Promise to advocate for preventative measures against violence. The organization now focuses on educating students to recognize and report warning signs among their peers, aiming to create safer school environments while still pursuing legislative change for universal background checks.
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