George Carlin once said, “It’s bad for ya” — but what exactly is he referring to? We like to think he’s talking about going through life without a little laughter (or without visiting our blog for that daily chuckle). While that may not have been his original thought, one can hope, right? Despite his passing in 2008, Carlin’s words continue to resonate. If you’re feeling reminiscent, check out our compilation of George Carlin quotes.
Often referred to as “The Dean of Countercultural Comedians,” Carlin was recognized as the second-best stand-up comedian by Rolling Stone in 2017, right after Richard Pryor. His iconic “seven dirty words” routine played a pivotal role in the landmark Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, which upheld the government’s authority to regulate indecent material on the airwaves. Hosting the first-ever Saturday Night Live in 1975, Carlin made a significant mark on comedy. Whether you were a fan or not, his legacy endures, as these quotes exemplify.
30 Memorable George Carlin Quotes
- “I talk to myself because I’m the only one whose answers I trust.”
- “The planet’s doing just fine. The people? Not so much.”
- “Let’s break it down: Women are nuts, and men are dimwitted. The reason women seem crazy? Men are that dumb.”
- “Fighting for peace is like making love for virginity.”
- “Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone faster is a lunatic?”
- “They call it the American Dream because you need to be asleep to believe it.”
- “Sometimes, the wolves are quiet, and only the moon howls.”
- “Never underestimate the stupidity of large groups of people.”
- “Those who buy expensive Evian water should try spelling it backward.”
- “If you aim to fail and succeed, what have you accomplished?”
- “Some people observe reality and ask, ‘Why?’ Others dream of what could be and wonder, ‘Why not?’ Some just have to work.”
- “In cat language, ‘meow’ translates to ‘woof.’”
- “Religion is like footwear; find your fit, but don’t force me into yours.”
- “I admire flowers that grow through concrete. It’s incredibly heroic.”
- “Men and women? They’re both from Earth. Let’s deal with it.”
- “Consider how foolish the average person is and realize half of them are even more foolish.”
- “May the forces of evil get lost on their way to your door.”
- “I don’t have pet peeves; I have major psychotic loathings.”
- “I engage in this thinking thing, and apparently, it makes me un-American since I form my own views.”
- “Scratch a cynic, and you’ll find a disappointed idealist.”
- “I asked a bookstore employee, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She replied that disclosing it would defeat the purpose.”
- “Some see the glass half full, others half empty. I see a glass twice the size it needs to be.”
- “How can there be a civil war?”
- “Never argue with an idiot; they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
- “Life simplifies dramatically once you eliminate the nonsense taught in schools.”
- “Warning labels on alcohol should be more vivid. One suggestion: ‘Alcohol will turn you into your father.’”
- “Isn’t it unsettling that doctors call their work ‘practice’?”
- “Those who view life as more than entertainment are missing the point.”
- “Don’t stress over trivial matters, and don’t pet sweaty things.”
- “Laugh often, loudly, and long. Laugh until you can’t breathe.”
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In summary, George Carlin’s humorous take on life offers a refreshing perspective, pushing us to think critically and embrace laughter. His quotes serve as reminders that life, with all its complexities, is best navigated with a sense of humor.

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