Since the onset of the pandemic nearly a year ago, I’ve witnessed unexpected changes in my teenagers that have been both alarming and heartbreaking.
My daughter, who had always been reserved, began self-harming last winter. As daylight dwindled, she seemed weighed down despite having fewer commitments. When I inquired about her loneliness, she assured me she didn’t feel that way. In fact, she found comfort in being home due to her social anxiety and thrived in her online classes, citing the absence of social pressures as beneficial. Yet, beneath this façade of success, she was struggling profoundly.
Last summer, my son nearly backed over me in the driveway when I forbade him from leaving the house. After I told him to stay put, he got into his car, ready to drive off. Instinctively, I stood behind the vehicle, aware he might just defy me and accept the consequences later. As he revved the engine, I called for my younger son to fetch a chair so I could sit down, determined to assert my authority. His frustration has manifested in anger, with him even striking himself out of sheer exasperation. He longs to escape our home, expressing his feelings with a raw intensity that I find hard to bear.
Watching my children navigate these turbulent emotions has been an immense challenge. Like many parents, I struggle with my own feelings about the situation, making it difficult to support them adequately. This pandemic has taken a significant toll on our teenagers, a time when they typically seek independence and develop their social lives. Being a teen is hard enough without the added chaos of our current reality.
The tragic news of a nearby high school senior who took his own life last fall due to overwhelming loneliness hit our family hard. In June, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that 26% of young adults aged 18-24 had experienced suicidal thoughts in the previous month. Emergency room visits for mental health issues surged by 30% in 2020 compared to 2019.
As highlighted by The Washington Post, helplines like Teen Line are inundated with calls. Teens are grappling with relationship struggles, an uptick in self-harm, and feelings of isolation exacerbated by the absence of their usual support systems like school and friends.
It’s challenging for both parents and teens to navigate unfamiliar territory. Signs to watch for include changes in eating and sleeping patterns, reluctance to connect with friends via video chat, and a decline in personal hygiene or interest in schoolwork. If you notice significant changes in your teen, it’s crucial to have an open conversation about their feelings and any thoughts of self-harm they may be experiencing.
Seeking guidance from your family doctor is essential if you have concerns; they can assess for depression and suicidal ideation. Some teens are managing remarkably well during the pandemic. My daughter was one of them until her situation changed last fall. However, through frequent discussions, close monitoring, and online counseling, she has returned to a healthier state. Initially, she resisted acknowledging her loneliness, possibly not realizing how isolated she truly felt. I couldn’t have navigated this alone; I needed support.
Edutopia reports that many teachers have noticed some students—particularly those who are shy or highly creative—are thriving in remote learning environments. The flexibility of pacing and reduced social pressures seems to help some teens excel. While there are silver linings, we must remain vigilant about our teens’ mental health, which has been severely affected for many, even those who initially appeared to be coping well.
Engaging in conversations with your children, observing their daily behaviors, and seeking professional help if you notice drastic changes are vital steps. Equipping them with coping skills will not only aid them today but will benefit them throughout their lives.
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In summary, the pandemic has profoundly impacted our teenagers, pushing them into unprecedented emotional challenges. While some may thrive in remote learning, many are struggling with loneliness and mental health issues. It’s crucial for parents to communicate openly, observe changes, and seek professional help when needed. Supporting our teens today will equip them with lifelong coping skills.
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