Last week, my son, Lucas, displayed a sign in his room announcing the excitement surrounding his anticipated return to ice hockey after a lengthy hiatus due to COVID-19. His enthusiasm was palpable; he had been eagerly counting down the days. Just the night before, he told me, “I can’t wait for hockey tomorrow, Mom!”
He truly needs this. The physical activity, the camaraderie with his teammates, the structure of a packed schedule, and the valuable life lessons that accompany healthy competition are all vital for his growth. He benefits from the encouragement of a coach—something that doesn’t quite match the motivation he receives from me or a teacher. He learns from victories and defeats, from being slower than others to understand the value of hard work, and from moments of success that demonstrate the rewards of perseverance. He needs to experience the frustrations of a bad referee call so I can guide him in understanding that some things are beyond his control. He needs to feel anger when an opponent plays unfairly, as it helps him differentiate between physical play and dirty tactics. Through it all, he believes he’s simply having fun while absorbing these crucial lessons.
On the morning of his big day, Lucas jumped out of bed, brimming with excitement. He altered his sign to say “Happy Hockey” and even composed a little song about the sport as he got ready, much to the amusement of his sisters and me. It was a day we had eagerly anticipated, sometimes with patience, and sometimes with a sense of urgency—uncertainty loomed large due to the pandemic’s tendency to disrupt plans. With a beaming smile, he headed off to school.
Then the phone rang.
“Lucas is now in quarantine.” I was taken aback, my mind racing with unformed questions. It turned out that he had been in class with a student who had tested positive for COVID. My immediate thought wasn’t about his health or the implications for our family; it was solely about hockey. Perhaps I should have been more concerned about what this meant for his well-being or who would stay home with him. Yet, those thoughts were overshadowed by the reality that he would miss hockey for another two weeks—completely unexpected and out of our control. This moment embodied the essence of life during the pandemic: disappointment.
I worry about the lessons our children are internalizing during this time. They are learning to rely on nothing, that plans can change at a moment’s notice, and that excitement often leads to letdowns. Kids should be able to trust in the consistency of school, sports, and schedules, but that reliability has been shattered for over a year.
So, what’s next? Will Lucas hold back his excitement in the future, trying to shield his emotions from potential disappointment? As a mother, how can I support him during this prolonged uncertainty? What solutions are available to us?
There are no clear answers.
This experience is just one of many challenges our children face, yet it remains largely unaddressed. They’ve been conditioned to expect disappointment, to temper their enthusiasm, and to recognize that even the most dependable aspects of their lives can become unreliable. This deeply concerns me as I think about their emotional well-being and mental health, both now and in the future. I often wonder if I’m doing enough as a parent.
On that day when I picked Lucas up from school, I saw the fear and confusion in his tear-filled blue eyes as he processed the news—But what about hockey tonight, Mom?
“You’ll play again in two weeks, Lucas. I’m sure it will go by quickly,” I reassured him, even though I wasn’t entirely convinced. Thankfully, he is back to counting down the days, full of excitement, not anticipating a last-minute cancellation. But me? I’m not so sure…
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Summary
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought about unexpected disappointments for children, exemplified by a boy’s canceled return to ice hockey after a long hiatus. As parents, we worry about the impacts of these disruptions on our children’s emotional resilience and mental health, questioning how to navigate this new normal of uncertainty.
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