Virtual learning is undeniably exhausting. There are countless Zoom sessions, passwords, and apps to juggle, all while trying to guide kids through their assignments. For parents dealing with an IEP or 504 plan, this can feel incredibly overwhelming. I’ve found myself struggling to manage my children’s IEPs while balancing the challenges of remote schooling, and it’s no easy feat.
For those unfamiliar, an IEP, or individualized education program, is a legal framework designed for public school students with special educational needs under the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). It outlines a child’s current performance levels, strengths, and needs, sets measurable annual goals, and specifies the services and accommodations required to help them succeed. The IEP also designates who is responsible for implementing each element.
My journey through this process with two of my children has been anything but straightforward. Each child had to undergo an educational evaluation to ascertain if they qualify under one of the 13 categories recognized by IDEA. One of my kids qualifies due to a language impairment, while the other has both a visual impairment and ADHD. Each step of this process has felt lengthy, bewildering, and emotionally draining.
Managing an IEP can be quite complex. As a parent, it’s my responsibility to ensure everyone involved in my children’s education is aware of their IEPs, and that the outlined goals address their needs effectively. These responsibilities are challenging under normal circumstances, and the added pressure of a global pandemic makes it almost unbearable.
In addition to my two children with IEPs, my other two kids have 504 plans, which are generally less intensive. Keeping track of the tutoring sessions, reading support, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and counseling appointments for all my kids can be overwhelming. This adds up to approximately 15 additional Zoom sessions each week. The struggle to remember schedules, login details, and passwords has ramped up my anxiety.
I often find myself alternating between gratitude for the services my kids continue to receive and frustration over the chaos it creates. I constantly worry about being overly communicative and risking being perceived as a nuisance to already overwhelmed teachers and staff. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they think I’m a stressed-out parent.
My heart goes out to my kids as well. The abrupt shift to virtual schooling and the loss of their regular routines has been just as challenging for them. They often express that it’s unfair to have so many extra sessions. I can’t blame them; I feel the same way.
Essentially, I’m trying to run a makeshift school for four kids with needs I’m not fully equipped to address. I frequently feel inadequate and guilty for not being able to meet all their needs during this time. My frustrations sometimes bubble over due to my lack of knowledge, time, sleep, and patience. With the pandemic limiting my time away from my kids, finding moments to regroup is nearly impossible. I often feel drained and uncertain about how long I can keep this pace.
The most daunting aspect is my fear that my children may lose the progress we’ve worked so hard to achieve. I worry they might fall behind their peers once they return to in-person learning, and I’m concerned about the potential for regression. The reality is that I feel powerless to prevent these outcomes.
I acknowledge that my perspective comes from a place of privilege. My kids are relatively high-functioning, I speak English fluently, and I have a degree in child development. My background in education has given me some understanding of school systems. I don’t face food insecurity or job loss, and my partner helps share the load at home.
I can’t claim to fully understand the struggles faced by parents with children who have more severe challenges. For some families, virtual learning may not even be an option, and parents often find themselves in the role of full-time caretakers with scant support. I recognize that not everyone has the same resources or opportunities, and I don’t take my situation lightly.
This isn’t a plea for sympathy or a “woe is me” narrative. I simply want to share my experience managing IEPs during virtual schooling to remind other parents of special needs children that they are not alone, and to encourage them not to be too hard on themselves. We’re all navigating this in our own ways, and there’s no one to blame for the challenges we face.
Ultimately, it’s essential to remember that everyone involved—parents, children, teachers, administrators, and service providers—is doing their best in what can sometimes feel like an impossible situation.
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Summary
This article discusses the challenges faced by parents managing IEPs during virtual schooling. The author shares personal experiences of navigating educational needs, balancing multiple schedules, and coping with feelings of inadequacy and fear. It emphasizes the collective struggle of parents, children, and educators during this unprecedented time.
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