As a new parent, I found myself yearning for what many moms and dads desire: a full night’s sleep. My first child managed to sleep through the night just before turning three months old. I thought my parenting skills—balancing nurturing with a structured routine—were the secret to her success. We adhered to the eat-sleep-play cycle, and I felt proud of my “good” baby. Yet, my confidence was short-lived as my following three children were far less predictable.
The truth is, exhaustion is a common struggle for most parents. We need to stop believing that babies should be sleeping soundly through the night; if they aren’t, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the child or our parenting. Research supports this notion. A recent study from St. Andrews University tracked 44 infants over two weeks and revealed that many parents expect their baby to sleep all night by six months. However, they emphasized that sleep consolidation is a gradual process, not a milestone to meet by a certain age.
Interestingly, the study also found that sleep patterns can differ widely, not just between different babies but even for the same baby on different nights. So, just because your little one occasionally sleeps through the night doesn’t guarantee that it will become a regular occurrence.
The American Academy of Pediatrics explains that babies don’t establish consistent sleep cycles until about six months old. While newborns typically sleep 16 to 17 hours a day, it’s often in short segments of one to two hours. As babies grow older, their sleep needs may decrease, but every child is unique. It’s completely normal for a six-month-old to wake during the night.
Why can’t they just sleep soundly so we can catch up on our rest? Any seasoned parent will tell you that there are countless reasons why a baby might resist bedtime. The Guardian explains that a baby’s need to feed can be overwhelming, leading to exhaustion from the effort required to eat. Consequently, they sleep to recover. But just a few hours later—sometimes even sooner during growth spurts—they’re ready to eat again.
Another factor is that babies don’t follow a 24-hour cycle like adults. They operate on their own schedule, leaving parents racing to meet their needs. Additionally, many infants confuse day and night—a common issue many parents face. Research indicates that until a baby is between two to six months old, they won’t function consistently, and the reason they don’t sleep through the night is simple: they can’t.
The researchers at St. Andrews University noted that certain parenting practices, such as breastfeeding and co-sleeping, were linked to variability in sleep patterns. However, this doesn’t mean you need to switch to formula unless that’s your choice. Breastfeeding can actually lower the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
While various books may tout a magical formula for getting your baby to sleep through the night, be cautious. Avoid unsafe practices like adding rice cereal to bottles or letting your baby cry for long periods. Always ensure your baby sleeps safely on their back in a secure crib without anything that could pose a risk.
There are indeed methods that some parents find helpful, including swaddling, using white noise machines, rocking, or infant massage. As long as these methods are safe, do what works for you. If they don’t, remember that it doesn’t reflect poorly on your parenting. Most resources point to six months as the typical age when parents might start to see some improvement in sleep cycles.
If your baby is six months old and still not sleeping through the night, consult your pediatrician and connect with seasoned parents for advice. Just remember, each child is different, and nearly every parent I know is fatigued.
It’s worth noting that many parents feel tired long after the infant and toddler phases. I mistakenly thought my sleepless nights would end once my kids outgrew their cribs and lost their baby teeth. However, each stage of childhood brings its own sleep challenges for both children and parents.
The key takeaway from all this? It’s completely normal for infants under six months not to sleep through the night. I empathize with fellow exhausted parents, but please resist the urge to resort to desperate and unsafe measures to get your baby to sleep.
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Summary:
It’s common for infants under six months not to sleep through the night, with sleep patterns varying widely among babies. New parents should refrain from assuming something is wrong if their baby doesn’t sleep consistently. Instead, focus on safe sleeping practices and consult pediatricians and experienced parents for support.
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