In my early twenties, I found myself gazing into a friend’s mirror, feeling as though I was trapped in a never-ending loop, seeing my reflection crying back at me. I heard a voice echoing in my mind, insisting that I was unwanted. The words spilling from my mouth made sense to me but seemed incomprehensible to everyone else. The emotions around me felt overwhelming, a blend of pain and beauty. I was experiencing a psychotic break, though I was unaware at the time.
When my former partner rushed me to the emergency room, I was met with a bizarre question: “Are you Wiccan?” This inquiry came while I was speaking rapidly and incoherently. What was Wiccan? I didn’t identify with that. Instead of being treated with compassion, I was dismissed as someone practicing a misunderstood faith rather than being recognized as a person grappling with mental health issues. It was easier for that doctor to attribute my turmoil to a pagan belief than to acknowledge a possible PTSD episode.
After denying involvement with any cult or drug use, I was finally asked about my mental health history. They contacted my psychiatrist and psychologist, and slowly, I calmed down enough to go home, having promised I wouldn’t harm myself. I felt ashamed and bewildered, questioning why I couldn’t just be “normal.” I had been in therapy for years, yet I felt like I was still broken, waiting for someone to fix me.
Over time, I’ve realized that I was never broken, and the concept of “normal” is a flawed expectation that no one can meet. If you’re struggling with mental health, remember — you are not alone. You deserve love and support, not stigma.
Even before the pandemic, nearly 20% of Americans faced mental health challenges, yet many refrained from seeking help due to fears of judgment or losing their jobs. For example, Sofia, a writer from New Jersey, recalls hearing about a distant relative referred to only as “la loca.” This was a common narrative in her culture, where mental health issues were often swept under the rug. Instead of support, she battled anxiety and substance abuse alone, wishing for a more open conversation around mental health within her community.
Like many, I turned to substances to cope with feelings I couldn’t articulate. There’s a dissonance between recognizing something is wrong and being dismissed. We are often told to tough it out instead of seeking the help we need.
Take Alex, a mother from California, who has faced anxiety and panic attacks since childhood. “I was taught to just toughen up,” she explained. “The social stigma around depression made it seem like I was a burden, especially as a woman expected to be cheerful and carefree.” After exhausting therapy options, her insurance coverage ran out.
Our healthcare system is severely lacking. For instance, before undergoing a life-saving gender-affirming surgery, I had to prove my suffering through documentation and assumptions. I ended up paying $12,000 out-of-pocket for medical expenses, despite being assured insurance would cover a portion. Ultimately, my policy only reimbursed a fraction, leaving me financially strained.
When I sought new life insurance, I was denied coverage due to my mental health history, even though I had been sober for two years and was emotionally stable. Society views those with mental health struggles as “high risk,” and the stigma creates barriers to receiving necessary support.
Jenna, from Massachusetts, shared how her husband refrained from seeking help for his anxiety due to fear of job loss. This decision harmed their family until he finally sought therapy after leaving his position.
Mental illness can affect anyone, yet it often remains hidden, misconstrued as laziness or weakness. Instead of compassion, we often encounter stigma, perpetuating a cycle of shame and silence.
Since I began my mental health journey at 18, I have built a robust support network, equipped with coping strategies and medications. I’ve endured painful experiences, from childhood abuse to toxic relationships, and learned not to blame myself for my trauma or resulting mental health challenges.
We must end the blame game surrounding mental health. A reduction in stigma would empower individuals to seek the help they need. Remember, you are not broken or a failure. You are deserving of love and support.
For those seeking assistance, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration provides confidential support year-round.
This article is a reminder that you are not alone in your struggles; there are resources available for you.
If you’re interested in learning more about navigating similar challenges, check out this resource on treating infertility. You can also explore this informative blog post for additional insights.
Leave a Reply