Why I Prepare Different Meals for My Kids Each Night

Like many parents, I find joy in cooking dinner for my family almost every night. It’s a cherished routine where the day’s stresses fade away as I prepare our meal. My children aren’t particularly interested in assisting, which is perfectly fine; it allows my husband to reconnect with them after his workday while I take a moment for myself.

After finishing the main dish, I grab three divided plates and start considering what my kids will eat. Typically, I can create a meal for each child using some components of what I’ve already made, but there are nights when I end up cooking four separate meals for our family of five.

I know that many parents are firmly against this practice. I’ve heard comments like, “I’m a parent, not a short-order cook. You eat what I make or go hungry.” Standing your ground can be a reasonable approach for some families, and I once followed a similar path. We had rules about trying two bites, and if my kids didn’t like the meal, they could opt for simple, approved alternatives. While I still think that was a sound plan, it eventually stopped working for us, and I had to adapt.

Here’s why cooking a single meal doesn’t currently work for my family:

Diverse Needs
Each of my three kids has specific dietary needs. My eldest will eat almost anything but struggles with a recurring GI issue that makes certain foods uncomfortable for him. My middle son is autistic and is diligently working to overcome food aversions to different textures and tastes. Pushing him could lead to him eating significantly less than necessary. My youngest, just a year old, is at the bottom of the growth chart and requires regular meals, regardless of what I prepare.
Adult Tastes
Given the varying food challenges my children face, it’s nearly impossible to create one meal that satisfies everyone. As adults, my husband and I often prefer meals that aren’t always kid-friendly; variety is essential in keeping our meals exciting.
No Resentment
I genuinely don’t feel any frustration or resentment about making separate meals. Cooking is not a chore for me; I’ve realized that I can find countless ways to foster adventurous and healthy eating habits in my kids without adhering to rigid meal rules.
Recognizing Privilege
I acknowledge the privilege involved in being able to prepare multiple meals. Many families worldwide struggle to put food on the table, and I am grateful for the abundant nutritious options available to us. I don’t mind taking a few extra minutes to prepare something for the kids after dinner.
Empowering Choices
I don’t believe it’s crucial for my kids to eat whatever is put in front of them, regardless of their preferences. As adults, we choose what and when to eat. I want my children to learn to listen to their bodies and respect their tastes, rather than forcing them to eat foods they dislike.
Learning Opportunities
Even with separate meals, I am committed to teaching my kids about nutrition, the importance of trying new foods, and being polite when declining something. We encourage them to take bites of unfamiliar foods and discuss how a range of nutrients is vital for their health. They understand that if they refuse a meal outside our home, they may have to wait until we return to eat again.

My hope is that as they grow, they will expand their palates, just as my husband did. For now, this is our approach, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever go back to insisting on a single meal for everyone. As long as we gather around the table, the details of what’s on our plates seem less significant.

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Summary

In conclusion, preparing different meals for my children allows me to address their unique dietary needs, avoid resentment, and embrace the privilege of having abundant food options. While I encourage them to try new things, I also prioritize their autonomy over what they eat. This approach fosters a healthy relationship with food and allows us to enjoy mealtimes together, regardless of what’s on our plates.