Lately, I’ve found immense joy in scrolling through the thousands of photos stored on my phone. It’s like having a visual timeline of my life right at my fingertips, and I can easily lose track of time reminiscing about cherished memories.
I can effortlessly revisit moments of my children at various ages, from when they were just three months old to their current milestones. If I long for the sight of a breathtaking ocean sunrise, I can quickly pull up numerous images from our many family beach trips.
However, there’s one aspect of my photo collection that makes me cringe. If a stranger or even an acquaintance were to sift through my gallery, I would feel embarrassed and find myself needing to explain. It would be hard for them to overlook the overwhelming number of selfies that clutter my phone.
My selfie habit began when my daughter was born. During those late-night bonding sessions, I wanted to capture the moments without waking my husband. I took a few selfies here and there, not for a specific purpose like framing or sharing on social media, but simply to document those special nights together.
As time passed, my selfie-taking slowed down, yet my phone remained filled with images. And for every 100 photos, I’d find only two or three of me, which honestly made me a bit sad.
To clarify, my partner is a fantastic dad who shares in our family experiences, but he doesn’t have that innate urge to take pictures. He will photograph when asked, but unlike me, he doesn’t instinctively reach for the camera.
Having a camera in my pocket feels like a blessing. I can only imagine how much my mother would have cherished this technology during my childhood. You can label my selfie habit however you wish, but the reality is, I want to be documented alongside my kids in these digital keepsakes.
Initially, I mostly snapped selfies when my husband wasn’t around, like those cozy moments on the couch watching TV with the kids or dancing in the kitchen. I wanted to be included in those memories, so I made sure to capture myself in the frame.
Soon, I began taking selfies on almost every outing. Whether we were hiking or cutting down our Christmas tree, I wanted to ensure there was a visual record of me experiencing those moments alongside my family.
I understand that a photo isn’t necessary to validate my presence during these times. My children will love me regardless of whether I’m behind or in front of the camera; the important thing is that I was there.
For me, these selfies represent so much more. They serve as a testament to my presence in our family’s journey. They encapsulate some of our most significant and even the most trivial experiences. I want my family to have a visual representation of me during these moments, and if selfies are the simplest way to achieve that, then I will embrace it.
So, despite my mixed feelings about them, I’ll continue taking selfies. Perhaps one day, I’ll look back and appreciate their existence. Instead of solely recalling my happiness, I’ll be able to see it reflected in the joyful smiles captured in those selfies.
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