At this stage in my life, it’s become clear that I’m not everyone’s favorite. Sarcasm is practically my second language, and I might drop a few more expletives than some deem appropriate. Recently, an old acquaintance labeled me as “always having a chip on my shoulder.”
Rather than argue against that in this personal essay, let’s lean into it. It’s time for a cathartic release of all my grievances. I’ve been harboring some resentment for far too long, and it’s finally TIME.
Let The Chips Fall Where They May
Back in third grade, there was a girl – let’s call her Linda. I had just relocated to Ohio from Virginia mid-year and instead of welcoming me, Linda chose to gossip. Yep, third grade gossip: I still hear her saying, “I’m so cool, and you’re just jealous of my cute southern accent.”
Then there was my third-grade teacher – thanks for making me rewrite my autobiography because your instructions were too vague for a nine-year-old. That paper kept me crying all night!
In that same dreadful year, a brat made fun of me for not having cash for ice cream during lunch. And in fourth grade, the Beanie Babies craze took over. Linda and her crew flaunted their massive collections while I only had a measly ten. Sure, I was a tad envious, but come on, bragging about it?
Fifth grade was all about the cool girls getting their nails done, while I just wanted to fit in too. And my teacher? I wasn’t behind in reading because I slacked off; it was because you assigned me a book from 1877!
In sixth grade, while I was on the brink of my first real kiss, the girls giggling from the other side of the door were just the worst. And can we talk about the middle school bus seating arrangements? Why did 7th graders have to sit in the front while 8th graders got to lounge in the back?
High school was a whirlwind of toxic jocks. From the one who bullied a gay student until he brought a gun to school to the one who hit my boyfriend’s car and tried to fight him – I’ve got some lingering bad vibes from those days.
Oh, and there was that time my best friend tried to pick a fight with me in the hallway when we could have just had a conversation. And let’s not forget my high school guidance counselor who insisted I pick a vocational path or risk falling behind in college. I ended up spending two years in a graphic design course I loathed, only to major in something entirely different in college.
“I’ve Got A Lot Of Problems With You People, And Now You’re Gonna Hear About It”
Who needs a designated day to air grievances?
The guy who complained about onions on his sandwich eight years ago – seriously, just pick them off! The woman who corrected me in 2009 while I was hosting – her complaint was ridiculous. And that stylist who convinced me to get bangs? Let’s just say, you probably still work at a budget salon for a reason.
A saleswoman at Plato’s Closet had the nerve to judge my Aeropostale jeans that I saved for seven years. And the maternity store employee? I know you don’t work on commission, so quit pushing overpriced shirts on me when I’m already stressed about finances.
To the manager with fewer qualifications than the employees – I can’t even! And the Walmart employee who argued about coupon usage? You were supposed to read the coupon, not just look at its image. And Dairy Queen? My large Blizzard is always lacking Oreos. Am I really paying $4.69 for vanilla soft serve?
So yes, I may be holding a few grudges. Who knew my acquaintance who pointed out that chip on my shoulder would be so on point?
Check out this blog post for more insights on home insemination. For those exploring pregnancy options, this site is a great resource. If you’re seeking a comprehensive overview of pregnancy methods, this Wikipedia page is an excellent reference.
Summary
In this candid essay, the author reflects on various grievances accumulated throughout her life, from childhood bullying to frustrating encounters in adulthood. Through humor and sarcasm, she embraces her “chip on her shoulder,” revealing how past experiences shape her perspective today.
Leave a Reply