During my high school years, I experienced the True Love Waits movement, which significantly distorted my understanding of sex. In our sex education class, taught by male coaches who typically focused on gym classes, we were shown graphic slides of genitalia impacted by various ailments. This was one of the tactics aimed at discouraging us from having sex. We also participated in a rather ridiculous Q&A session where we could anonymously submit questions about sex. The responses were often vague or brushed off entirely, leading to jokes from classmates instead of valuable conversations. This lack of genuine sexual education ended up being quite harmful.
The primary focus from our teachers was on the risks of sex: pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Discussions about consent, boundaries, or anything beyond vaginal sex were virtually non-existent. I recall one teacher demonstrating how to put a condom on a banana, which outraged many parents, giving the impression that anything other than vaginal sex was acceptable. The messages we received from both school and church emphasized that engaging in any sexual activity was a sin, with the ultimate taboo being anything beyond a kiss.
The True Love Waits movement promoted the idea that our virginity was a precious gift meant to be saved for marriage, ideally given to a partner who also waited. This created a narrative that once married, we could indulge in sex freely without consequence, all while avoiding shame for ourselves or our families. The implicit message was that if you didn’t wait, your love might not be genuine.
Many of us wore our virginity as a badge of honor, even sporting rings inscribed with “True Love Waits” on our wedding ring fingers. We were heavily influenced by Joshua Harris’ book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which the author later denounced. This book suggested that courtship should be the route to marriage, often involving strict boundaries like side hugs and a ban on any sort of sexual intimacy until the wedding night.
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with choosing to wait until marriage to have sex, the real issue lies in the absence of informed consent regarding our bodies and boundaries. The True Love Waits movement left many of us confused, unable to navigate our sexual desires healthily. It was often assumed that we could suppress our urges until marriage without ever discussing what was off-limits. Many of my peers found themselves engaging in oral sex, considering it a way to avoid “the ultimate sin.” Yet, conversations about safe sex practices or the importance of understanding our bodies were absent.
As a result of this upbringing, we lacked knowledge about our own bodies, the concept of pleasure, and the importance of sexual health. We were taught that normal sexual feelings were sinful, and chastised for any thoughts deemed lustful. Girls were often made to feel responsible for boys’ temptations, reinforcing harmful stereotypes.
Transitioning to a sexual relationship after marriage was challenging. The guilt instilled from years of abstinence made it difficult to freely enjoy intimacy. It’s been a long journey to unlearn the damaging beliefs surrounding sex that were ingrained in us. Trying to escape embarrassment and confusion is not something that can be resolved overnight; it requires time and effort.
I feel a sense of loss for the experiences my peers and I missed due to the shame tied to our sexual desires. Moving forward, we must ensure that we do not pass down these harmful lessons to future generations. It’s clear to me now that the True Love Waits movement lacked both truth and compassion.
For further insights into this topic, check out our other post here. If you’re looking for more information on pregnancy options, visit this excellent resource. You can also find the best home insemination kits here.
Search Queries:
- home insemination kit
- self insemination
- pregnancy options
- intrauterine insemination
- artificial insemination techniques
Summary:
The True Love Waits movement significantly impacted my understanding of sex, promoting an unhealthy view of intimacy and knowledge about our bodies. The lack of comprehensive sex education and the emphasis on abstinence created confusion and guilt that lingered into adulthood. It’s essential to break this cycle and provide future generations with accurate information and healthy perspectives on sexuality.
Leave a Reply