Times are definitely changing, friends. If you were to look into the homes across America today, you’d likely see more dads vacuuming, folding laundry, and cooking than ever before. (But seriously, don’t actually peek into other people’s windows—that’s just weird and illegal.) The stereotype from the 1950s where it was seen as “women’s work” to handle all the cleaning while men came home, kicked back, and called it a day is rapidly fading.
That outdated image isn’t reflective of the reality in today’s households (and honestly, it wasn’t for a lot of families back then either). Nowadays, moms are not only working but also sharing the financial responsibilities with their partners. Dads are stepping up, changing diapers and unloading the dishwasher more frequently than ever.
However, we still have a long way to go. Despite not being expected to wear lipstick and heels while whipping up dinner and keeping a spotless home, women often still bear the brunt of household chores. Whether it’s due to a lack of understanding on how to ask for help, being overlooked when we do, or family members simply not “seeing” the mess, it can be incredibly frustrating to scrub the kitchen clean only to find it in disarray by morning.
The reality is, we need our families to step up and participate more actively in maintaining the household. It’s not just our job anymore to handle all the cleaning and tidying. We’re balancing work, parenting, managing the household, and over the last year, we’ve also taken on the role of teachers as kids have been learning virtually. So, we need you, family, to grab a dust cloth, put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and hang up your coats.
We’re absolutely exhausted.
I feel like my kids understand me better than my partner does. All I wanted for Valentine’s Day was a clean house and help around the place. The kids did that, even when I said no flowers, and what did my partner do? The exact opposite. Seriously, they listen better than you, grown man!
Confessionals
Confessional #25821627
I want to hire someone to deep clean my house once a month. As a stay-at-home mom, I’ve always felt it’s my responsibility to keep things tidy, but I’m done feeling bad about the mess. My partner and teenage boys are absolute slobs! My partner doesn’t pitch in, so at least he could pay for help.
Confessional #25823294
My partner and I work full-time. He goes to the office while I work from home. He expects me to clean, do laundry, garden, mend, etc., and have dinner ready when he comes home, on top of my work commitments. Seriously, enough already.
Confessional #25822995
I would love to spend just one weekend like my partner does—sitting around doing nothing while ignoring everyone. But if we both did that, our kids and pets would suffer, and I’d be left with a mess to clean on Monday.
Confessional #25822972
Many husbands still fail to see the importance of helping with household chores. This makes us feel invisible, unappreciated, and quite frankly, bitter.
Confessional #25823093
I now only do my own laundry. If my partner wants clean clothes, he can figure out the washing machine himself.
Confessional #25823093
My partner threw a mini tantrum because I blocked the TV while vacuuming. One, he’s seen that movie a hundred times. Two, he could have paused it. Three, I clean so much because of him!
Confessional #25821891
I went to bed after cleaning the kitchen, woke up at 4 AM, and came down to find it dirty again. It’s the third time this week. I woke everyone up doing the dishes loudly. I am not the servant here.
Confessional #25822642
I’m fed up with those who expect me to cook and clean every meal while they do nothing to help.
Confessional #25819461
When our families expect us to do everything without lifting a finger, it makes us feel like servants rather than the hardworking moms and partners we are.
Confessional #25823138
I clean the same areas repeatedly, and it’s driving me mad. How does no one else see that it needs cleaning? Why is it always me?
Confessional #25822115
The house I spent an entire day cleaning is already messy again. I hate this. I want to live alone.
Confessional #25823113
If I have to clean this bathroom one more time today, I’m going to lose my mind!
Confessional #25821857
I’m not the only one using the bathroom, so why am I the only one cleaning it?
Realizing that everyone else walks past the mess without noticing, yet has the audacity to question why we’re upset, is infuriating. We’re burnt out and exhausted from the constant cycle of cleaning and laundry. If I take a break, it just means I’ll have more to do later. I just want to sleep.
Confessional #25822237
I’m at my breaking point. I don’t want to cook, clean, do laundry, or care about my kids’ schooling anymore. I’m so burned out, and honestly, I don’t have the energy to fix it.
Confessional #25823075
This pandemic has crushed me. I juggle work, kids, cleaning, cooking, and everything else. Meanwhile, my partner is upset because he missed a vacation. I just can’t deal with this entitled attitude anymore.
Confessional #25822866
I can’t handle cleaning my house AGAIN! It’s the same routine every day.
Confessional #25821674
We’re absolutely burnt out. The pandemic has drained us completely, and we’re running on fumes. The next time I trip over someone’s shoes left lying around, I’m seriously considering driving to a place where shoes are put away, and there are no dirty dishes left out. I don’t know if such a place exists, but I’m going to look very hard for it.
This article was originally published on March 16, 2021.
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