I see people organizing Zoom gatherings, exchanging gift cards through email, and planning adorable drive-by baby showers, but I can’t even manage to reply to a text promptly. Honestly, I’m the worst kind of pandemic friend. I’ve created a cozy bubble in my four-bedroom home and drifted away from the outside world. The reality is, I know I should be more engaged, but I just don’t have the energy. Sorry, friends.
Please don’t take it personally—this is all on me, not you. We’re not breaking up for good; we’re just taking a pause while I figure things out. Right now, that means lounging in bed watching “Firefly Lane” while my kids argue over the PS5 controllers. I have zero motivation to put on makeup just to fumble with unmuting our mics while someone else deals with a crying toddler. We all have our challenges. Let’s deal with them without a camera in our faces. I remember what you look like—text me instead.
If you’re tying the knot or welcoming a baby, I’m totally down to send a gift. But I’m not interested in joining a parade to drop things off while you wave in the cold, both of us secretly wishing to be somewhere else. My daughter has a birthday coming up, and there will be a drive-by celebration, but only for family. No guilt trips for anyone else involved. This whole situation is getting out of hand.
There’s immense pressure to go above and beyond during this pandemic, and I worry that when things return to normal, expectations will skyrocket. Giant yard signs and mile-long birthday parades will become the norm, and kids might forget how to enjoy simple cake and ice cream with just a few gifts.
You might think I’m being selfish. I should pay more attention to my friends, be less distant, and consider others’ feelings. Maybe that’s true, and maybe I am being unfair. But at this point, my focus is on my family, and everyone else is secondary.
Honestly, the reason I’m not gathering in person is that I’m just not comfortable. My circle is still quite small, and I’m not ready to expand it. This isn’t about fear-mongering or trying to paralyze anyone; it’s about being safe. I have a family to prioritize, not a “sort of safe” playdate. I’m not there yet, folks.
I want my kids to grasp the magnitude of grief and loss our world is experiencing. Yes, their lives have been altered, but in comparison to many, they are quite lucky. Our family, including extended relatives, has largely escaped the virus’s impact, and that’s due to our caution. We’re mostly staying home, avoiding friends’ houses and birthday parties. Aside from a few outdoor activities where everyone is masked and distanced, they’re texting and playing Minecraft online. And that’s enough.
So what am I doing? I’m savoring time with my kids like never before. We’re enjoying each other’s company, and it’s wonderful. My partner is home now, and we eat meals together. He drives the kids to school and picks them up. We play games at night and share laughter. We’re living simply—and it’s amazing. It’s unfortunate that it took such a difficult time for this to happen, but I don’t regret the change. Right now, if you don’t live with me, you’re not high on my priority list. Love me or hate me, that’s just the way it is.
I care deeply about my friends. I genuinely want to know how they’re doing, see pictures of their kids, and celebrate birthdays and new babies. I wish I could be as loving and supportive as I’ve always been, but for now, that means interacting through social media and texting. Don’t expect much more from me.
Once life starts to return to normal, with more vaccinations and decreasing numbers, I’ll be more inclined to venture out. I’ll be thrilled to hug you, share laughter, and enjoy great meals together. Until then, remember that I love you and I’m just a text away. But it might take me a bit to respond because I’m busy playing with my kids.
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