As a mother of three teenagers, I can assure you that each one of them seems to indulge in forty-five minute showers. Let’s just say, I find all sorts of unexpected treasures in that bathroom. After their version of cleaning, I often find myself going in to tidy up so I can actually sleep soundly at night. Recently, the fan in their bathroom broke, leading to mold that seemed to sprout overnight on the ceilings and walls.
I couldn’t handle the situation and naively convinced myself that it would magically start working again by morning, because that’s how life works, right? Well, it didn’t. I lost track of time with daylight saving messing with my sleep, and an overly packed schedule that included taking my son to the orthodontist for a broken brace, attending a Zoom meeting with my daughter’s teachers, and dropping her off at work—all within a two-hour span (which, spoiler alert: didn’t happen).
So when my son bluntly reminded me that the broken fan needed urgent attention because the paint was peeling, I completely lost it. I found myself sprawled on my bedroom floor, wishing desperately for a pause button, praying for someone to step in and take over, as I felt overwhelmed by the challenges of this school year. With my son graduating and my daughter driving now, not to mention my ever-distant 14-year-old, I just wanted to scream at the fan and everything it symbolized. Balancing a full-time job, providing for my family, and navigating virtual schooling day in and day out is… exhausting—especially after the last year.
I’ve been a single parent for over four years now, and I thought these chaotic days—no, weeks, months, and years—would eventually fade. I never anticipated that lying on my bedroom floor would become a familiar refuge when I didn’t know how to solve a problem, whether it was a running toilet, my oldest son getting into trouble at school, or navigating a breakup with someone I had started dating after my divorce. There were nights when I missed the concept of family so deeply that it felt like a weight on my heart.
Single parenting offers no breaks or reprieve. It robs you of the comfort of having someone to rely on during tough times. There’s no assurance of facing challenges together; it’s all on you. Single parents must remain vigilant and composed, especially when crises arise, whether it’s a child needing stitches, a midnight plumbing disaster, or a school call for an immediate pickup due to a fight.
Your kids can sense your stress, even if they don’t fully grasp its cause. There are days when I feel like I’m trapped in a pressure cooker, ready to burst at any moment. Being a single parent means there’s no one else to step in when fatigue hits, when you’re doubled over in pain, or simply need a moment to yourself. There’s no other adult to say, “I’ll handle dinner tonight,” or “Let’s take a walk to give you a breather.”
To all the single parents out there, I see you. I recognize those days when you feel triumphant in your decision to be independent and those moments of strength. But I also understand the heartache when you see a family strolling hand in hand or catch a glimpse of something that reminds you of shared experiences, and suddenly you’re overwhelmed with longing.
I know there are weeks when just getting through each day feels like a Herculean task, where you’re running on empty and just scraping by. Those feelings don’t vanish; they may dissipate for a while, but they always come back when you least expect it.
So here’s a gentle reminder: take some time for yourself, even if it’s just a small moment to celebrate who you are. It doesn’t have to be on National Single Parent Day or even take up a whole day. Just do something that reaffirms your efforts and resilience in this challenging role—you deserve it.
As for me, I treated myself to a new book and stocked up on my favorite snacks for the next quiet hour, but I can assure you they won’t be enjoyed on my bedroom floor—not again.
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Summary
National Single Parent Day serves as a reminder of the challenges and triumphs of single parenting. With the weight of daily responsibilities and emotional burdens, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Yet, within the chaos lies strength and resilience. Remember to take time for self-care and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.
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