I’m filled with frustration. My emotions are overflowing, and anger seems to be at the forefront, charging ahead like a warrior ready for battle.
I work diligently at my job and excel at what I do. I invest countless hours, including late-night calls and early morning emails. I am personable, intelligent, and I enjoy tackling even the most challenging tasks.
For my age, I earn a reasonable salary and take pride in my developing career. I know I deserve every cent I earn, and I realize that in some instances, my compensation is less than it should be compared to others. I’ve fought hard for every dollar since I accepted my job offer, navigating various roles and responsibilities. Nothing was ever simply handed to me; I had to earn it all.
Yet, I still feel diminished compared to my male colleagues—both those above me and below me in the hierarchy. Despite being in a position that should command respect, I often feel more like an assistant or a task-doer rather than a seasoned professional with valuable experience.
Day after day, I grit my teeth and agree to take on tasks that everyone else sidesteps, like inputting data or booking meetings. I know my role encompasses much more than this, but I still find myself playing the part of someone whose value is reduced to just being good at finding nice places to eat.
Then there are days like today, when the weight of it all feels unbearable. It’s as if the men who stifle my potential are smothering me. A male superior was aware of a project I was leading, and because he disagreed with my approach, he went out of his way to undermine my efforts. He had conversations with everyone except me, blatantly demonstrating his intent to sabotage my work.
When I discovered this (thanks to another female colleague), I was furious. I composed myself and decided to approach him for a professional discussion, hoping to address the issue and find a way to collaborate more effectively.
Here’s a heads-up for you, gentlemen: Women have the right to express our opinions and feelings in the workplace just like you do. We deserve the same respect you would afford to a male colleague.
So, I walked into this toxic male’s office, armed with notes and a clear agenda. I was direct and focused. Then, I made an error. I used the word “feel.”
In that moment, he seized the opportunity to belittle me. He dramatically placed his hand on his chest, threw his head back, and said, “Ohhhh, did I hurt your feelings?” I was taken aback, shocked that someone in his position would respond in such a condescending manner.
Would he have dared to say that to our male boss if he expressed a feeling? Absolutely not. He knew he could get away with it because I was a woman, and he chose to say it behind closed doors, fully aware it would be my word against his if I decided to complain. He did this because he believed he could, and worse, that he should.
I am intelligent. I am skilled. I excel at my job more than most. Yet, there will always be those who diminish my worth simply because I am a woman. This reality saddens me, but it also fuels my anger.
The courageous women before me fought tirelessly for equality, and here I am, still having to advocate for my own rights. I feel the urge to give up, but I can’t let that happen. I have a daughter who looks up to me, and I want her to see her mother as a strong individual. I need her to understand that this kind of treatment is unacceptable and must not be tolerated by anyone.
So, I will take deep breaths, step into the light, and dismantle the barriers before me. I’ve tried the diplomatic approach; now it’s time to take a stand.
My feelings are valid and should never be weaponized against me. I refuse to be judged based solely on my gender. I’m ready for my anger to take center stage. If men can lead with anger when I express my emotions, then perhaps, if I do the same, I can give them something to truly complain about.
For more insights on navigating workplace challenges, check out this other blog post. And if you’re looking for advice on starting a family, Make A Mom offers helpful resources. Additionally, if you want to learn more about fertility services, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource.
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Summary:
The author shares their frustration with being bullied by male colleagues in the workplace, despite their hard work and competence. They recount a specific incident where a male superior undermined their authority, highlighting the ongoing sexism women face in professional settings. The piece emphasizes the importance of standing up against such treatment, both for oneself and for future generations.
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