Ask Home Insemination Kit: I Dislike Playing With My Kids

Welcome to the “Ask Home Insemination Kit” advice section, where our team offers insights on life, relationships, parenting, and everything else that leaves you puzzled.

This week’s concern: How do you tackle the mom guilt when you genuinely dread playing with your children? If you have questions of your own, feel free to reach out!

Dear Home Insemination Kit,

As a stay-at-home mom with two kids, ages five and three, I feel a strong obligation to play with them since I’m home all day. However, the truth is, playing with them feels like a chore. My daughter wants to control every aspect of our playtime, and my son expects me to crawl around or chase him—activities I’ve never enjoyed. I love spending time with them; it’s just the type of play they want that drains me emotionally. I really hate it, and then I feel awful for feeling this way. What should I do?

Oh, I completely understand your situation. My own kids are older now, but I can assure you that you’re not alone in this feeling; it’s more common than you might think. It’s tough to enjoy playtime when your child is dictating every move or when you’re crawling around on knees that feel like they’re falling apart, all while thinking about how badly the carpet needs cleaning.

Here are a few suggestions that worked for me:

First, find activities that you actually enjoy doing with your kids. For example, my kids loved their doctor kit, and I would just lie on the bed while they poked at me with plastic tools. They were engaged, and I could even sneak in a mini-nap! Another fun option was “restaurant,” where I would let them serve me snacks from their toy kitchen. We also played “painter,” where they would draw on my back with dry paint brushes, and I’d guess what they were creating.

Secondly, enlist relatives or friends who genuinely enjoy playing with kids. I was fortunate to have a brother who loved to wrestle, and a partner who could handle the demands of playtime. Did I let them take over some of that? Absolutely.

Lastly, explore alternative ways to spend quality time that do not involve traditional play. Go for walks, bake together, read stories aloud, or watch funny animal videos online. The key is that your presence matters more than the specific activities, and kids appreciate the time spent together, regardless of what you’re doing.

From my experience, I can confidently say that not playing with my kids in a conventional sense hasn’t harmed our relationship. What matters most is that they know you’re there for them.

For those looking for more advice on parenting and related topics, check out some of our other blog posts, like this one on holistic therapies.

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In summary, you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed by playtime. Focus on finding enjoyable activities with your kids, leverage the help of others, and remember that your presence is what they truly value.