Watching ‘Yes Day’ With My Children Was the Reminder We All Needed

For a couple of years, my kids have been asking for a “Yes Day,” a special day where we agree to whatever they request—within reason—over a 24-hour period. I kept postponing the idea, asking them to share their dream day. Their response? Unlimited screen time.

First off, they’re not exactly lacking in screen exposure; there have been plenty of days when video games and movies dominated their time. But a true “Yes Day” involves much more, which is partly why I’ve hesitated. If we are to dedicate an entire day to saying yes, my kids must contribute ideas about what they want to do or where to go. I also mentioned we would need some ground rules, but we never really moved beyond that initial discussion.

After watching the Netflix film “Yes Day” featuring Jennifer Garner, the concept resurfaced, and now I’m more determined than ever to plan an actual “Yes Day.” This film is inspired by the book of the same name by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, and before starring in the movie, Garner used the book as a guide for her own family tradition of having a “Yes Day” annually. Her desire for joy motivated her to adapt the book into a movie. In her words, “I pitched it, produced it, found the writer. I wanted to do this… I think we did.” While we enjoyed the film together, it also served as a reminder of the appreciation we can easily overlook during our daily routines—especially amid a pandemic.

The movie begins by highlighting the stark contrast between life without children and life with them. It’s far simpler to say yes to enjoyable activities when you only have to consider yourself or your partner. Once kids enter the picture, we quickly realize that their requests for “fun” often involve risky decisions made by minds that aren’t fully developed. Plus, their ideal fun often emerges right before bedtime, during school, or while tackling necessary tasks that require focus.

It’s not that parents don’t want their kids to have fun; it’s that we’re concerned about their safety. This instinct sometimes leads us to instinctively say no to even harmless requests. Sorry, kiddos—I know you just asked for ice cream, but I mentally heard “Can we set the porch on fire?”

Watching the movie allowed me to see things from my children’s perspective—the countless times parents say no, not now, or not today. I recognized the disappointment on their faces when they anticipated a negative response. I see that look on my own kids and it breaks my heart. Sure, I’m busy and stressed, just like Garner’s character in the film, but I want to embrace playfulness with my kids before they outgrow it. I sometimes convince myself that I have plenty of time, but my eldest is already 10 years old—how did that happen? My twins are almost eight, and we’re in a prime position to create lasting memories together. “Yes Day” reminded me to cherish their remaining years of childhood.

An unexpected and refreshing aspect of “Yes Day” was its exploration of family dynamics, revealing why parents often behave the way they do. Typically, one parent is the fun-loving one (often the dad) while the other takes on the role of the organizer—the one who keeps everyone on schedule and manages the rules (usually the exhausted mom). My kids noticed this dynamic as it unfolded in the film, initially believing that I and my ex should emulate the “fun Dad.” While my ex is generally more relaxed with rules, I’m grateful that I don’t have to shoulder all the responsibilities alone.

This portrayal of parenting in the movie provided my kids with a glimpse into the thought processes behind my decisions. They recognized themselves in the chaos of kid life and started to appreciate the challenges I face as a parent—not enough to make significant changes, but enough to understand why I can’t say “yes” as often as I would like. I expressed my desire to be more accommodating and to incorporate more fun, child-driven activities into our lives. Parenting is incredible, and there’s nothing wrong with indulging in ice cream for dinner every now and then. We even discussed making intentional plans for a “Yes Day” once the threat of COVID has passed.

We all agreed that saying “no” so frequently during the pandemic has been disheartening, but we can wait a few more months to fully embrace a well-planned “Yes Day.”

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Summary:

The article reflects on the experience of watching the movie “Yes Day” with children, highlighting the importance of saying yes amidst parental responsibilities. It explores the dynamics of parenting roles while discussing the need for intentional fun and family bonding, especially after a challenging pandemic period.