Recently, while I was in my childhood room preparing my six-year-old for bed, I felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me. The long drive and the hours spent laughing with family had taken their toll. I was eager to lay down and let the day’s fatigue envelop me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted my mom peeking in to say goodnight. As soon as my daughter caught sight of her, she leapt up to give her Nana yet another hug. After my daughter snuggled back into bed, I tucked her in and casually said, “Goodnight, Mom, see you in the morning.”
Those simple words caught in my throat, and it took all my strength to keep it together for a few more moments. Once my daughter was asleep and my mom had retreated to her room, I took a few deep breaths, sat on the edge of the bed, and put my face in my hands, allowing silent tears to fall.
Since the start of the pandemic, I have been consumed with worry for my parents’ wellbeing. Countless sleepless nights were spent wondering if they would be okay, grappling with the idea of whether I was doing enough to keep them and others safe. The anger I felt towards those who dismissed safety measures only compounded my anxiety.
Every time my mom had an allergy attack, panic set in. If my dad mentioned feeling under the weather, I would mentally prepare for an emergency trip. Luckily, each incident turned out to be nothing serious—a bit of Claritin for allergies or ginger ale for a stomach ache.
I know the toll this virus has taken on families. Over the past year, nearly 550,000 families in the U.S. have faced heartbreaking losses due to COVID-19. It’s an undeniable reality we all live with.
To cope with the isolation, my parents and I began FaceTiming more frequently. Sometimes we just wanted to see each other’s faces, but it also became a time to share updates about our quarantined lives. Then, a couple of months ago, my mom casually mentioned, “We have our appointment next week.”
Panic surged through me. What appointment? Was my mom having kidney problems again? Did my dad need a breathing check? My mind raced until my mom clarified, “For our vaccine.”
Stunned into silence, I struggled to process the news. After so many months of worry, I could hardly breathe at the thought of them actually getting vaccinated. Yet, when I finally found my voice, I noticed my mom didn’t share my excitement.
I completely understood. My parents had spent a year in fear, isolated and afraid of the risks. They had considered their mortality and worried about their entire generation. Hearing dismissive comments about the virus must have felt like a challenge to their very existence.
Despite their doubts and fears, they both received their shots and emerged unscathed. After the recommended waiting period, we planned a visit that felt monumental. It was the first time in a year I could hug my parents without the fear that my touch could harm them.
While I realize that the world isn’t back to normal yet, the fact that my parents were no longer in immediate danger transformed everything for my family. My heart aches for those who have suffered losses in this pandemic. The stories of those who did everything “right” yet still fell ill resonate deeply. It’s not just acquaintances; it’s our neighbors, friends, and often our own loved ones.
So, saying goodnight to my mom was a deeply emotional moment, but also a celebration of hope. I am incredibly grateful to be close to my parents again—able to hug them, talk with them, and simply love them face-to-face. Their vaccination restored that connection for my family and me.
While I know the fight against this virus isn’t over, it’s important to cherish these small victories. Today, I celebrate the simple joy of saying goodnight to my mom, feeling thankful and hopeful for many more moments like this in the future.
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In summary, the journey through the pandemic has been fraught with anxiety, especially regarding the health of our loved ones. The moment my parents received their vaccinations was a turning point, allowing me to reconnect with them without fear. We must hold onto these small victories as we navigate the ongoing challenges posed by COVID-19.
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